Jamie-Lee,<BR>I wasn't offended. I'm frequently argumentative these days. What Nellie said about unrealistic optimism afflicts just about everyone on their wedding day. Everyone goes into it thinking it will last forever. I was just venting my frustration that more people can't stay the course.<P>Nellie,<BR>I read something the other day that goes:<BR>"if a man sin against thee...if he repent and confess, forgive him...But if he be shameless, and persisteth in his wrongdoing even so forgive him from the heart, and leave to God the avenging". I know it is a tough row to hoe when you are the one taking care of the kids. They really are a blessing to you, even if their father is an alien. Your H has made his choices. Maybe he'll feel remorse someday. Maybe he won't. I'm guessing if he doesn't, he'll never fully have the love and respect of his children, not to mention you. That is a pretty terrible thing to lose.