Raven:<P>Yes, I do believe that our expectations in marriage must change as our level of intimacy changes, and I believe that what was perfectly acceptable yesterday may not be acceptable today and vice versa. It is the willingness to adapt to an ever changing marital relationship that gives us the intimacy that we all need and desire. <P>Raven, you came here with this topic, "Question about meeting H's sexual needs." This is what we are all trying to help you with. All that I am saying is that if you have these deep seated convictions about certain activities, that is fine, but if you are going to be limited in your marital relationship by them, it might be a good idea to determine the origin of them. <P>It really sounds as if you are still having a lot of pain from your husband's betrayal, with good reason. Infidelity is probably the most demeaning and degrading experience a person can have. Have you and he spoken to a counselor about this? If not, I would suggest that you try it. <P>Of Course your husband has no right to threaten you with another affair if you do not accede to his demands, that would be emotional blackmail. But is he really doing this, or is it just your perception? If it is only your perception, then you need to discuss this with your husband at length. <P>From the exchange here, I really think there are deeper problems than what you have brought up. I applaud you for sticking it out and trying to salvage your marriage, but I really think that you are at a point where you need some additional help to make it through this tough spot. <P>May the Lord Bless You and Keep You.<BR>John