Dear RH,<P>From the list of things your husband wants, I don't believe he will be "satisfied" even if you did go along with them. S&M sex is not really about sexual fulfillment, it's about power and the psychology of domination. Most people into S&M just keep raising the bar to give them a thrill to compensate for what they lack. What they lack is the ability to be intimate. My definition of intimacy is to open one's soul to another. That take love, courage, trust and empathy. I can't see that happening while handcuffed. Well, maybe I'm a prude, too.<P>If you felt safe with your husband you might be able to learn to enjoy oral and anal sex, or you might not. But that too is missing the point. It's your husband who has to do the learning. <P>You don't see the porn as too big a problem in your marriage, but it is central to his problem. You need a Plan A for the internet porn. He is addicted, and he needs to kick the habit. You can't grow a healthy garden if you plant weeds in one corner. Pull the weeds, and water the flowers,that's my advice.<P>Cuckold does have a point, (somewhere in his message): train your husband to find true intimacy with you. The powerful psychological kick of real intimacy will replace the thrill of porn and S&M.<P>Good luck<p>[This message has been edited by Kenneth (edited February 16, 2000).]