Hello everyone, some may remember me from several posts I�ve had here when my wife had a 4 month affair over 5 years ago.
About a year after the affair we relocated to start over and along with us we had two of our three daughters move as well.
Today I didn�t know where to turn regarding my now 18 year old daughter. I know this site is mainly for marriage and relationship issue but the advise I received here when going through the affair was the only honest counseling I could find when desperate.
So I would say relocating 5 hours from our home town was an adjustment for everyone and we are actually looking to move back, not to our hometown, but the western half of the state to be closer to extended family.
Anyway my DD18 I thought adjusted well? She began high school here and through her junior year started on the softball team, stayed out of trouble and was an honor student.
She had limited �relationships� but did date a guy in her junior year who was a great guy in many aspects but he was an exchange student and ended having to return to the UK and would try to get back soon, so they tried to continue long distance for some time.
All started to go downhill about December of this past year. DD18 was with a girlfriend from the softball team and stopped over a house where some guys were �hanging out�. DD18 began conversing with a guy a refer to as OM. The two talked on and off but the general word was OM was not the most stellar of a guy; some drug use, expelled from school, no family foundation and no real home address.
As DD18 and OM relationship progressed, the first major incident occurred. DD18 was discovered not to come home one night after lying about where she was and was later found to have traveled to NYC!!! DD18 ended up flopping at some house with OM and totally disregarding contacting us. DD18 let other les desirable guys drive her car she worked hard to get.
Several other incidents on and off occurred all surrounded by lies and deceit to be with OM. This countinued for months where it got the point where DD18 told me on one occasion �ya I probably need to get out of this place�.
This occurred literally 6 weeks before HS graduation. We spoke with school guidance and were able to get her away for 2 weeks. I transported DD18 to our hometown where she lived with her older sister and did her school work online.
The school insisted DD18 return in order to graduate HS which left about 2 weeks prior to graduation.
Once returning we found out that DD18 never totally disengaged from relationship with OM and soon enough we were again catching her in lies in order to see him.
I explain this extensively and felt it appropriate to post here because her behavior very closely mimics that of an affair! DD18 is virtually addicted to this OM and will lie cheat steal and coniv to see him. DD18 has risked nearly everything; car, possible graduation, college, family just to be with this OM.
We thought DD18 was winding the relationship down after leaving for a short time, then the unthinkable occurred.
This past Sunday, father day, DD18 walked downstairs and said she was going swimming at a neighbors pool wh we know and trust. DD18 had a backpack on and looked the part. DD18 walked out the front door and sent my wife a text message reading �there is a note under my pillow�. To sum up the note it stated she had thought long and hard about her life and decided that she was joining the military and was picked up by a recruiter.
After extensive research I found that she got a ride to Delaware where OM was with his �dad� after getting evicted from an apartment here. In the meantime she was listed as a missing person because PA law does allow for this if under 21.
Bottom line she is addicted to this OM and has given up her life for him. He is going nowhere and I fear the worst. I fear he is totally using her, getting in her head and she is flushing everything away slowly.
DD18 has recently had limited contact with us but did text saying she was fine and not interested in returning home. DD18 texted me today asking for some of her HS graduation money that I am keeping in a separate account. I told her the money was here at home.