So basically I am screwed. House is sold here; we intended on selling anyway because it was way to much house; my job is under impression I will being relocating to western part of state.

I have been resentful since moving here years ago which has hampered my ability to view my wife in a positive light.

Yes ideally; one wants to check all boxes off when this strikes but that is simply not reality.

I guess I don�t completely understand? I had a one night stand affair when we first married. If I returned home and saw this women in passing it would generate absolutely nothing for me to desire something with her.

I agree is it always riskier; of course; but is it probable, not likely.

I don�t feel these are black and white answers; just a very difficult decisions with many moving parts. My wife and I surly can�t dissappear on a island and isolate ourselves from the rest of the world or our family.

This totally sucks; choosing again between where to live, extended family and wife.