I appreciate your response. I am so desperate I just need to have someone to hold my hand through this. Everything I read on this site keeps talking about Plan A and B, but I don't find an adequate description of Plan A in order to put it into effect. I have ordered the book (Surviving an Affair), but I've yet to receive it, so I don't yet know the details. Last night she told me that if it wasn't for the children she would already have left. I don't know how much time I have left. Please help me. Summarize Plan A for me and I will do all I can.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by WorthItForEternity:<BR><B>Hi, VAR.<P>It's not infatuation, and it won't just go away.<P>Your wife is getting some very important needs met by this man, and that is the source of her "passion." Because he is doing such a great job of meeting her needs, she feels tremendous love/passion for him. She can't get enough of him!<P>Emotional needs are the strongest force in the universe! Yes, she will throw everything away just to keep having them met. She's not going to "get over it," those needs will be with her for life.<P>The good news is - anyone can meet them! It doesn't have to be this man, it can be you! Love is so conditional, in just the right conditions, she can have that same passion for you that she feels for the OM right now. In fact, you have a couple advantages, your marriage, your family, your past.<P>I think it is time for Plan A, big time. Remember, Plan A is about changing *you*, not her. Yes, she's the one who had an affair, but you helped to create the climate for her affair.<P>You can do this! And we are here for you.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>