VAR<BR>NEEDS. My W also had an affair ( an EA, not a PA) I caught it in time. it was close!<BR>We discovered what emotional needs are, we didn't have a clue before. We read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, I think they have here, if not Barnes & Noble does. Plus Harley book His needs, Her needs was critical. She is addicted to the buzz feelings she gets w/ him. The thrill.... you can begin to replace those emotions...if she is willing. I too was unable to work for almost 3 months,I was useless at work, thank God I had an understanding boss. TIme does heal. We made it and are much stronger because of the Emotional Affair she had. I even talk to the OM occassionally. His marriage is better, but his W never knew. Mistake I wish I hadn't made. If I had to do it over again, I would tell his wife right away. <P>------------------<BR>jnvc