About Plan A...you are right. When you read about it on here, you first get the feeling that you missed something because there doesn't seem to be much to it, and you wonder where the more explicit instructions are. However, it is basically about not doing Love Busters, meeting as many of her emotional needs (EN) as you can, and doing whatever you can do to be the best person, and look like a more attractive option to her when the fantasy of her affair starts to wear off. The actual steps to do are unique for each person, because only you know what you might not have been doing right, and what about you could be better in her eyes. That is my take on it, and I'm still trying to make the appropriate steps.<P>I totally understand what you are going through.<P>The stuff I know my wife said to the other man includes never having felt that way about anyone (that hurts bad), he is sooooooo passionate (hurts too), he is kind, caring, etc, and she loves him. Of course these are things she always said to me. I was absolutely sickened when I confirmed this stuff, and had all the problems you describe (eating, sleeping, etc.). I'm able to deal with it thanks to this site and the advice and understanding from everyone. Hearing from women and men that were the ones to have the affair (WS) really helps too, because many confirm that they thought the same things (true love, passion, etc.). It is like our spouses are on drugs and can't see reality. But I see that once someone thinks they are in love, thats it, they do anything to be with the person.<P>The two schools of thought are to a) be tough and kick her out, or b) Plan A and put up with the sickening aspect of knowing where she is going. I'm personally doing b, and it is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. But if it saves my marriage, it will be worth it. I just recently confronted (once again) that I REALLY know what is going on), so I don't know what the situation will be like for me over the next while. My wife plans on moving out in 5 weeks (approx), but I know the situation with OM isn't ideal....he has said they don't have a future. So where does that leave her? She's really confused, because "she loves him".<P>This is long enough now, so I'll stop. But you are not alone. Your wife is in the classic "fog" that you read about on here, and so is mine. I hope that the fog clears.