I have been doing some investigating into things that may enable me to keep precise records of our conversations with ow. I thought that some of the things I found may be of use to others here, possibly those who continue to have serious well-founded suspicions about ws's having inappropriate contact with ow/om.
The Edge Company, at www.edgeco.com, sells recording devices that your phone discreetly plugs into that tape all incoming and outgoing calls at your home or business. The devices themselves are small enough so that they can be easily hidden. Some of them even record by sending remote signals to the machine at another part of the house. They also sell video cameras disguised as alarm clocks, etc. All that I have seen range from about 50 to 200 dollars. The website shows some select items like this, but the catalogue itself has a much wider selection.
I would never encourage anyone to break the law (unless it was absolutely convenient, ha, ha!) so check with your state communication laws first.
In Pennsylvania, for instance, as long as one of the two parties knows they are being recorded, or if you are recording calls on your own phone line, it is ok. Another way to get by in PA is to have the recording device emit an audible beep every five seconds. This is supposed to make the other party aware that they are being recorded, so if they talk with the signal on, you have their implied consent to be taped. (If they ask what the noise is, though, you can't lie and say it's something else. you have to say its a recording device.) I know this stuff from working for the private security business where all calls in and out were recorded at all times.
I'm not suggesting that it would be fair or right for people to "spy" on their spouses, but had I known about this stuff then, I could have confirmed my suspicions a lot earlier, and I would have had more peace of mind about my h's actions during the first few weeks thatt we were back together. also, I could have had a better record of all the many many things ow did to harrass me and h after he was through with her. Also, I guess it's true that even a chronically wandering spouse has a right to privacy, but the betrayed spouse has a better right to knowing if he/she is being exposed to venereal diseases, etc. These days, its not just your peace of mind that's at risk, it can be your very life.
Anyway, I'm just throwing this info out there in case anybody might have use for it.

[This message has been edited by cdcollins (edited February 15, 2001).]