We went to mediation yesterday. The first session anyway. If I had to sum it all up, I would say things turned out in our behalf. Several little small, sweet victories in the name of trying to do what we feel is right, while at the same time not becoming a victim of a foolish, vindictive woman.
1. I had a chance to talk to her father while my H and she were in the mediation room. Her father seems to be her sole support system for now. He seems like he understands the fact that my husband and I want to try to do what's right for this innocent little girl. He's truly on the baby's side. He admitted that he had been an absentee father and I really felt his pain. I guess to sum it all up, I feel like we have an advocate on the other side. He understands the stress of the situation and seems to respect what we are trying to do.

2. The mediator told my H that the baby's mom (xow) was more than likely intimidated by the fact that we sent her a four-count complaint via certified mail regarding cs, custody, communication, and paternity testing. In our case, she was the defendant, my H was the plaintiff. When my H told me this, my response to him. was 'good'! She threw the first stone by claiming she had engaged Child support enforcement. We found out in mediation that she led about that. Nowhere in the system was there a case for her against my H.

3. I get to enjoy the sweet (albeit small) victory of beating her with her own stick. She thought she could threaten me and my H into doing what she wanted us to do. Never in my life did Jesus' teachings on turn the other cheek make sense to me. She needed to understand that she COULD NOT control us by trying to intimidate us with threats. She thought the child support enforcment threat would take something from us and make us comly to her dangerous wishes. We wouldn't allow her to take anything...no, we'll give it willingly before we bow down!

4. We get to see the baby without her present. I'm still not sure if I want to be there for that first visit. I'm starting to realize that I'll relive the grieving process over and over again for a while. Not sure if I'm ready to see her in person. She's a cute little girl. Her father had to almost make her give us a picture.

5. She said something that showed her true character. She mentioned to the mediator during the session that 'this is my first born child, and they (me and my H) don't have any children..'
Of course both the mediator and my H were confused. They didn't know what she was trying to imply. We're still not sure what she could have meant, but could it be a hint of further intimidation???? If so, she really has no reason to feel that way. I, nor my husband have no desire to take the baby...no, we'd rather concentrate on building our own family.

6. She is slowly being exposed to all involved as the liar she is. She's unstable and downright hard to reason with. I almost felt a little sorry for her, but not quite there yet.

7. Her father agreed to be a go-between for the first visit. He'd drop off the baby wherever my H wants.

For those that have decided to include the baby/oc in your lives, please keep us in your prayers. This is a small victory, but the battle is still on the horizon.

Love you all...thanks for listening!

MM