I am sorry that you feel this way. I know that it can be difficult, but hanging onto all the negative stuff only keeps you in a negative state of mind.

My parents were married 50+ years until my mother died. I have a sister who has been married for 35 years. And they were/are happily married. Affairs happen for several reasons and with a lot of stuff involved. Yes, many of us do not meet emotional needs, but some of it also stems back into the betrayers past (family issues or upbringing we know nothing about).

I know that I have learned not to trust completely and I feel the reason for this is that it helps keep the other person more in-tune to the relationship. I have also learned that affairs open eyes and hearts. I have also learned that it can bring deeper and more powerful love together again. I have learned that in the long run, it can lead to better and more positive things.

I have learned that I want and need to spend more time with the man in my life. I've learned that neither of us is right nor wrong... we have different views, and appreciate each others and are willing to give to each other (not just one sided). I have learned that he and I are better together than we are apart. This is the depth of the love I have learned.

I pray that everyone here learns good things and stops concentrating on all the negative. I wish you better days to come.

[This message has been edited by Fiancee (edited February 07, 2000).]