Nellie,
Given the &%^$ that you have gone through....and this site knows of, what, maybe 20 % what you have had to deal with....I can certainly understand your perspective.

However, growing up...which many of us have had to do here...is alot about learning how to deal and move on with life's good, bad, ugly and evil.

Yes, we too, are on a better path but I really do believe that much had to do with how he was raised. Regardless of what his feelings were for the "dark side"...he would never have been able to deal with the wreckage, devastation and permanent losses of his selfishness.

Nellie, don't let the kids see this destroy you.... (or them)..they need you to show them how to deal with this issue.

If you can teach those kids of yours that nearly every one of their actions has widespread repercussions for others...I'd say you've succeeded in teaching them about responsibility. (and then, when they become engaged...you pass them the HNHN book and hope they'll let you discuss the history of mom and dad)

-Tina