Nellie - I almost made it to 20 years total - the divorce was final three days before our 19th anniversary.<P>I was just thinking also - so many betrayers say and do so many of the same things. Is there some book or website that they all visit to learn the standard lines and responses. It seems so many people here who have been betrayed have such similar stories.<P>I hope you and the kids are doing much better tonight - last night must have been awful. I will keep you in my prayers.