I agree that society does promote hedonism. It has gotten noticeably worse since the mid 1970's, in my opinion.

I don't expect that my H would ever be willing to have a long, calm talk about anything. It is so much easier for him to just "put the past behind him" as he advocated to our oldest daughter.

I don't agree that everyone marries just to get their needs met. I can't imagine a more negative view of marriage than that.

Yes, he has betrayed himself as well. But, so far, it has had not obvious negative consequences for him. My oldest daughter once said that he will regret it when he is old - but by then it will be too late.