I'd have to agree. Having two parents that don't live together or communicate well is much,much more disruptive than having a single parent. Then people say "but the children need a father". I agree that both boys and girls need the influence of a good woman or good man around. This can be accomplished by having good male or female friends nearby while the child is growing up. And I mean *friends*, not the constant in and out of dating relationships. People's needs for companionship can be met in other ways. Too many people get married because they want reliable sex and someone to cook and clean for them, or alternately, someone to go make the money for them. It has nothing to do with how to best raise a child.

In addition, I believe that if men/women waited to have children until they could responsibly care for them by themselves (should the need arise), most dependency issues would not be a problem.

A few people here have expressed some concern about your (our) negative views about marriage and the message you are sending your children. I'm more concerned about the message that it is ok to glom on to someone else and call it commitment. Or that you have to somehow prop up their "hope" of finding someone worthy of commitment, when we both know that the statistics don't bear out this "hope". Furthermore, the costs of having this "hope" far,far outweigh any possible gains, as we've both seen. The children are the ones who suffer for it.