Nellie,
Interesting post going here.It makes you really think about ever getting married again after a divorce.I don't know about you,but my whole concept of the definition of marriage has changed.Seeing my sister go through her divorce(her H got into drugs),several cousins and friends,and now probably me,makes me wonder if it's all worth it.When I took my W to the marriage councelor(for what that was worth)he told us something I'll always remember.He said most marriages today only last about 10 years or less.He said if we had managed to stay married for 22 years without killing each other,that we must of been doing something right or we never would of made it this long.I think that's a pretty good definition of a long-term marriage.Both my parents and my in-laws have been married for over 50 years.I've heard them fight and nag each other,and even though they aren't"passionately in-love"with each other,they are probably doing as good as it gets.Sometimes I think people expect too much out of a marriage or expect their spouse to constantly keep them happy.You know as well as I do,happiness comes from within yourself,not from another person.They can contribute to your happiness,but they shouldn't be the ultimate source of it,or you'll eventually be let down.I believe most problems can be worked out if both parties want to make the marriage work.My folks had problems you wouldn't believe compared to ours.I think some people just don't have a lot of tolerance for their spouse's shortcomings,or are opinionated in the way things should be.Unfortunately,these traits don't bode well for them in any relationship.Some people just aren't cut out for a 50/50 relationship.I realize now just how self-centered,and arrogant my W was.Perhaps your H is the same way?Anyway,something for you to think about.Talk to you later.Take care. --Murph