I wish I could find that attitude in me. I did at first during the beginning stages of recovery. I went all out to win him back. <P>He was willing from the beginning so I didn't suffer like so many here have with their spouses leaving and "trying to decide".<P>I fear I am burned out. <P>I have said before that my heart is calloused. It went through so much pain for so long that I fear it cannot feel anymore.<P>I find myself telling myself that I will never be hurt again by him. If he is unfaithful to me again I will not be hurt by it. I will be ready.