WW says "fooled around with other men". In general that leaves alot to my creative mind and I not able to talk comfortably or even perhaps in a forgiving way, cause I'm not sure of what all I'm forgiving and feel bottled up.

I feel like I gotta know that there is rad. honesty from the onset in our plan. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Forgot to mention therapy 1hr tommorrow and will have help with both of our re-actions and info from tonight. And this is an easy BUMP.

Terry <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Terry, I can categorically say that the details will NOT stop the pictures in your head.

What they will stop is you believing that the Sex was more than it was. We BS's tend to wonder that it was far more than it really was. The details however will be painful to hear and you will for a time worry about them specifically but I can assure you this will pass.

Ben.

the details helped me put the 1001 scenarios in my mind to rest-but it did give me one very detailed image. it has fadded slowly with time. this will tear your heart up-then you can heal. be prepared.

The mental images are a tuffy. I found g-strings in every color in my WH trunk. The mental image of OM with her chubby *ss in the air is enough to make you sick. I also found cards with pet names and books on sex and poetry. These images has driven me crazy. To me it was deliberate sex and intamacy as opposed to being caught up in the moment. I don't know what is worse. I don't snoop too much anymore because the images keep me up at night. Also remember that some things the OP may have bought with no input from your WS. They just keep it around because what else can they do with it. I found 2 phone cards and automatically knew that my WH had called her on vacation. When I checked them, no minutes were used on either on. Why does he have they? I don't know but I had a self induced morning from hell when it was nothing.

Take care of yourself and when you begin to get images trigger some other memory or exercise. These images only destroy your self esteem and let's face it. It is in the past. Your WS could not change it even if he or she wanted to.

Complete honesty has been the ticket for me, because what I imagine has been much worse than what they really did. For me, I didn't want my husband to have some image pop up in his mind months from now that might trigger guilt or remorse because I don't know about it. This way, if he has strong images later on, he can come to me and say, 'I just can't get this out of my mind, can you help?' I intend to be there for him.

Several people on this site have advised me to have a couple of really big all-out sessions with my H so as to get this over with as quickly as possible. The understanding is that once the question has been answered, it can't keep continually coming up. My husband is exhausted with talking about her, he wants it to go away. I feel a need to protect him from unnecessary guilt and remorse--he feels bad enough as it is.

Take care.

Right down as many questions as you possibly can think of and ask every one of them all at once while she is still being receptive. You need to know it all. Imaginations are so much more vivid and powerful then the real thing. Ask her not to sugar coat anything. I even asked my wife about size <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> . Stupid, but I needed to know and she told and I was able to deal with it. Now I no longer have to think about it. Fortunately, OM has a form of erectile dysfunction. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Knowledge is POWER!!!