Okay so my WH and I have been unofficially seperated since 10/1/2002. I say unofficially because I stayed at my parents house for a week and until he finds his own place, he is sleeping on the couch. He is definately moving out, he definately does not know what he wants to do.

That being said... My WH has been asking for SF for about a week. It has alwaysw been in a fun way, but still? I have told him repeatedly that I just don't think that we should. That we need to focus on what we need to work on and what we are going to do for the future. Well, I have wanted to say yes for about three days. And today, after dropping off my D for school, I broke. Is it wrong to have done that? We talked a bunch about how SF means different things to each of us. He told me he was not going to lead me on in any way, that this was just having fun sex! I know that I probably should have stayed strong, but a little vioce in the back of my head kept telling me, "You would be satifying a BIG EN of his." Should I still feel guilty? Or should I think of this as one of those major things that he will remember about me when he moves out? Sorry this is so graphic, but input would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

PQ

Doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or makes you second guess yourself isn't right for you!! How do feel about the idea of being used for SF by a man that doesn't respect you?

Should you feel guilty??? That is your choice. I'd chalk it up as a lapse in judgement and move on...you can't change the past, only what you do from this moment on. Will he remember this??? Probably not the way you hope he will. Not at this point. Sorry to be blunt but, he was using you to 'get off'.

You are a good person who wants her family back. That's a good thing! Problem is you are dealing with an individual who could care less, at this point. The most important thing for you to do is maintain your self-respect, maintain your integrity and avoid situations where your health is placed at risk...STD's.

Doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or makes you second guess yourself isn't right for you!! How do feel about the idea of being used for SF by a man that doesn't respect you?

Should you feel guilty??? That is your choice. I'd chalk it up as a lapse in judgement and move on...you can't change the past, only what you do from this moment on. Will he remember this??? Probably not the way you hope he will. Not at this point. Sorry to be blunt but, he was using you to 'get off'.

You are a good person who wants her family back. That's a good thing! Problem is you are dealing with an individual who could care less, at this point. The most important thing for you to do is maintain your self-respect, maintain your integrity and avoid situations where your health is placed at risk...STD's.

Hey MGM,

You are probably right. But I have to admit that I did enjoy myself. By the way, OW is still in Houston, 1600 miles away, so I wasn't worried about STD at this point. But I know that I need to consider that from now on. I applaud you for being blunt, most here are not. I on the other hand am, so I guess I can appreciate not mincing words. I will not allow myself to be in that kind of situation again! Thanks!

PQ

pq,
Don't feel bad. I did the same thing when my H was in his "I don't know" stage. I only saw him 3 times. I DECIDED to meet this EN. It was my choice. But, I also had made up my mind before hand that I would and that if I felt it was going to be something I would regret or be ashamed of that I wouldn't do it. Have this same talk with yourself. I did however make my H use condoms. If this is something that you can truly say you will be comfortable with no matter the outcome of your R. then okay, if not, better to not do it.