Counseling last night went according to script. Attack upon attack by my WW. As I expected, the counselor called her on it. Then we really began to get down to the nitty gritty. He advised that in order to make a decision on the M we had to do it in "clean space." He suggested to my WW that she end contact with the OM in order to get to that "clean space." She flat out refused! Hence we are at a dead end with counseling and I believe it is Plan B time. We are in a defacto Plan-B anyway so I am going to make it official with the letters.

The only other thing to consider would be whether or not to consider legal separation in order to protect my interests.

I really need some feedback and/or some challenging questions from you guys on this. I see it as pretty clean cut. We are still married but only technically. It is a sad, sad time.

Luki,

I'm sorry to hear that you've reached this roadblock.....

I strongly URGE you to get a sepparation agreement. I walked away without one, and now face loosing EVERYTHING......

Protect what is yours.

I do recommend not jumping into PLAN-B just yet. You need to give yourself a little down time to let the emotions run their course. Once this happens, you will have a better idea of what it is that YOU want.....

I'm sorry for you and I wish I could offer you my shoulder to cry on....

You're in my prayers.

Luki- sorry to here things did not go well and that you are at this cross road , with all the effort you put in this far I hoped for you the out come would be better .

JMO, but if it is at this point and may come down to legal separation , why not one big last fighting atempt.

MOVE BACK IN , I know LB , but who cares. I mean she is still in contact with other man and you never really had a fair chance to show her your plan A (never being around her enough) I mean she sees change and you did the things she wanted and still she uses excuses not to work on marriage .

I would ask an attorney if legaly you can walk back in the house . If she don't want it she will leave and that is ABANDONMENT Any party who leaves the home .

Even though she asked you to leave you choose to so she can ,legaly through that in your face .
I am sorry to say I think she is setting you up all along . Wanting you to do all these things makes her secure that you can be on your own and it gives her piece of mind .

Rember they have guilt so in their way of thinking they feel less if they think bs is ok .

JMO I do hope this would work out and moving in would be painful but it is one last effort to be right in front of her not making it so easy for to go on her day to day life ,now that she would have to see the mess she caused .

God Bless , I am rambling

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Luki - I am soooo sorry to hear that she is still bound up in the fog. I hope you get some good advice from others who have walked this trail before.

Take care of you.
DB

3isacrowd,
Are you REALLY sure about this? IT was only posted 9 times! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

The forums seem VERY SLOW today. Just wait (and wait) once you click submit.

Hey 3,

Can you delete those repeat posts or just delete the text out of them. I think that "super worm" virus is making things run slow today. Patience grasshopper. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The thing is I don't want to go back. I don't want to be around someone who is so hurtful. I'm in a 50/50 State anyway. She will get the short end of the stick if it comes to a D.

I think you are right about her setting me up all along. I knew this to be the case. But that's the fog so I took it with a grain a of salt.

I am thinking a legal seperation might bring her around to this fact of 50/50 division and bring reality home to roost. I may not have to actually go through with it, just mention it to test the waters. I'm sure she will do some checking into marital property law if I bring it up.

I will wait a little bit for my emotions to cool off and for more input from you guys/gals.

<small>[ January 29, 2003, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: 3isacrowd ]</small>

Sorry to hear this, Luki. I believe Plan B for you at this point will simply be a formality, unless you take the following advice:

Move back in right now without advance notice. Squat.

Immediately afterwards, retain an attorney and draft up a separation agreement, but don't spring it on your W until she moves out. Then get her to sign the agreement and then Plan B.

I don't expect you to accept this advice, however. In that case, proceed straight to a legal separation.

WAT

Luki-

3isacrowd REALLY wants you to pay attention! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

WAT,

I would follow your advice for it not for one thing. She would file for a D and I would not get the benefit of having more time for a Plan B. The longer I can prolong this, the better(not necessarily for my sanity though). It appears as if we are following the WSs script to a tee.

I do think a legal separation is in order. I think it would be good for her to see what she has to lose by going through with a D.

Should I press the point that me being involuntarily locked out is illegal and see if I can get a key and then hit her with the legal separation? Or how about this:

I tell her that she can either give me a key or I will have one made.

Once I get the key I hit her with the legal separation and Plan B.

To her, getting a key is akin to moving back in. There is no difference in her mind, only I don't think she will file in this scenario.

I will definitely look in to the legal separation. There is no other way it seems to me.

OK OK I AM SORRY ALITTLE STUPID today!!!!!!!!!!
Don't know what happened, really .

That's ok 3,

But, I have to hand it to you. You know how to get your point across. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (I have to raz you a little. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )

-Luki