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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 351
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 351 |
Well it's been almost 9 months since my WW left to continue her affair on dday. She went NC on me back in June as she needed more space and we have had very limited contact.
Well to my surprise my WW recently contacted my mother (her MIL) who she was close with.
Now I don't know if this meens anything but it's a little interesting that she would reach out to my mother after 9 months when our marriage was "over years ago" etc, etc.
maybe there is hope yet.MAYBE
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Hi goodguy, I hope it is good news for you! Let us know what your mom says,if she'll talk about it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> O
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Joined: Jun 2003
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Octobergirl,
My mother didn't go into great detail but I didn't expect her to. She cares for my WW a great deal and would always respect there conversation.
She did say it caught her off guard and was difficult or mostly nervious on both parts. She told my WW she was disapointed in her actions but was there for her and that she still loved her.
My mother asked me if she could call my WW back in a few weeks and of course I said no problem.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
RADICAL HONESTY is an important and essential MB concept. It is not OK for your mother to keep secrets for your WW. Keeping secrets is part of the WW script. Your mother should not be enabling her. There seems to be some gameplaying going on. Your WW is having an A. That is wrong. It would be appropriate for YOUR MOTHER to address, if not, confront her about this. How dare your WW treat her son so badly and then they have these nice little visits?
LOVE MUST BE TOUGH-JAMES DOBSON
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Hi again,
Well,so not much was gleaned from the conversation but I assume you are ok with that? Regarding mimis statements,I DON'T think it's appropriate for your mom to intervene and question WW about affair.That is between you and WW.
Now,if you are ok with your mom supporting WW at this time,well that's your choice.I am a little uncomfortable with that scenario personally.I picture my mom and my WH talking and it doesn't fly too well in my mind.My mom is MY mom and although she supports my WH and is trying to be nice about what has happened and not condemn him,in no way would she be his CONFIDANT,not after what he did to me,my daughters and our families.
Also it wasn't mentioned if your mom and WW have actually been seeing eachother often. Was it 9 months ago that they saw eachother or spoke?
O
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Joined: Dec 2002
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I was not recommending for the mother to get into their business. I agree with you, OCTOBER. It just doesn't seem right for the mother to act as if it is OK and that the A is happening. If the WW does talk to the mother about what is going on in her life, the mother needs to make it clear that she will not be keeping secrets from her son. WSes thrive on secrets!!!!
<small>[ December 12, 2003, 12:22 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Hi mimi, Ok,we are on the same page. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I guess we need more info on how GG feels about the situation and just how frequently the WW and MIL are meeting,if they are. I agree that it is one thing to support your DIL but another to be keeping hurtful secrets about/from son.We don't know the exact nature of the conversations yet.Maybe we'll hear more soon. O
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Joined: Jun 2003
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Joined: Jun 2003
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Ok maybe you miss understood me.
My mother will not be supporting my WW affair or enabling it or keeping stuff from me.
In fact my mother will have some minor contact with my WW just to let my WW know that I along with my family would support her should she choose to end the affair. That the affair has hurt everyone, is wrong but my WW is still loved and can be forgiven in time.
Call it MIL Plan A.
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Ok, now that we know where your mom stands.I get it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
O
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