Heres my situation
h 34 me 42 son 2
d day so to speak 10-18-04
I accused him of an affair in the wake of hurricane Ivan, family members and their crew staying at my home to help with clean up of hurricane, Husband was saying he was confused and didnt know what he wanted, said everything would be ok but needed time.
I felt there was something wrong so i started checking his cell phone and found one number I thought was a person he might be having an affair with.
So I accused and he told me I was wrong and the person i thought it was had a different last name
so i looked stupid. Behind the scenes my brother in law was informed from his workers and co workers of my H that he indeed was seeing someone and I was on the right track. H found out that family came to me and not him and now he said he wanted nothing to do with me or my family.
Ive gone through begging, crying and pleading for forgiveness and now he comes home from work and sees the baby, eats dinner and then usually leaves, not to return till midnight or later. He says I never wanted to go anywhere with him so now he's going out to have fun and he likes being alone.
Last night he didnt come home. I talked to him this morning he went to work. His job is very important to him and he says he loves his job.
He says he doenst feel the same about me anymore,
I ask where does he see this going, He says i think you know, I said tell me what your saying,
He says Im saying that you should figure out what you want from the house and take it. Told him Im not going anywhere, he said so I'll figure out what I want and take it.
Im a stay at home mom with no income of my own and Im affraid of what could happen even tough he
has not moved out.
I decided that I would just let things be for now and hope we get through the holidays with out him leaving or filing for a d.
Any responese would be appreciated

confused
get yourself together and ensure you will there for your S. you can try plan a and see if it helps. but you will need to still take a good look at yourself and see if there is any room for improvement (you're not to blame if your H is having an A - but you will need to be strong for yourself and your child). and this improvement - doesn't have to be about your H).

hang in there. and keep posting even if it's to vent. we do listen

Brown

In looking at my post I left out a couple of things, my H keeps wanting me to go to my moms for a week.
I said Im not going anywhere, he said Im not asking, So I went to my S condo a couple of citys away.
He was alone or at least I was away from Friday to sunday, He didnt call the baby on friday and i had left a note that I would not call. On Saturday I had someone go to my house to see if things looked strange. There was a partially drank bottle of wine on the counter, trash taken out, bed made and dishes are clean. He never does those things, also different cigarette butts in the new trash bag. This is the second time someone has been there When I was gone last time two huge t-bone steak container in trash more of the same cigarette butts around and my wine drank, He called me to ask what I was doing and I said sitting at home. He could not believe I was back in town and made a big deal about it. (I think he didnt have time to clean up, was what he was worried about.

I'm so sorry you find yourself here, but this is the right place to start. Read up on all the concepts and start Plan A.

You know your H is having an Affair so the next step is to start exposing. Do you know who the OW is? Is she Married? If so, you need to tell her husband. Does your husband's family know? If not, you need to tell them.

I would also suggest you seek legal councel to see what your rights are and to protect yourself and your child. If you are in Florida (based on what you said about the hurricane) the law is not on your side. You might want to seek out Treereich, she is in Florida and is going through this as well. She has seen a lawyer so she may be able to offer you some good advice.

But most importantly, do not leave your home. You do not want to be accused of abandonment. Let him leave if he wants, but you need to stay put.

I feel he is having an A, I have tried to find out who, to no avail, he is being very carful since I accused him last time, and very distant.
He told me that it was a guy that had been at the house when I was gone, but I verified it wasnt him that had been at my house.
Its very hard to get any information because he guards his cell phone and is gone all the time now.
I would be very interested if anyone had insight about florida law and what they have found out.
thanks for all post