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#1251373 01/05/05 04:09 PM
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dalson Offline OP
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here is the latest in my sitch, i called the w last night to tw kids my son who just turned 4 had a bad day, peed all over the sitters bathroom, pushed another kid down and a few other things,just a bad day all together, also when they got back to the apt he told w that he hated her and is going to live with his daddy. w said no you have 2 houses, daddy's and mommy's. he again stated he hated her and was gonna live with me.
im sure his behavior is related to the seperation. i have not said anything about his mom derogatory.
i wish she would get her head out and want to work this out.
is there any way to make this easier on the kids?

#1251374 01/05/05 05:01 PM
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dalson Offline OP
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im thinking about e-mailing wife about this whole seperation, and what it is doing to us and the kids. try and talk some sense into her. would this be a good idea

#1251375 01/05/05 05:09 PM
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D,

I would let her deal with your son. Children speak their heart and sometime their truths are like daggers.

If he asks you questions answer the ones that you can and tell him to ask his mother the ones you can't answer.

Don't try and "talk sense" into her. You'll come across as "knowing better" than she does or she'll see it as controlling. Thus giving her more reasons to justify the separation because you don't respect her....yada, yada, yada.

God Bless

Doug

#1251376 01/05/05 05:30 PM
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dalson Offline OP
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i wish i could get into her head and see what she is thinking. i have always had a problem understang her line of thinking.
it is so hard to see what this is doing to my son, it just kills me

#1251377 01/05/05 05:45 PM
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I know it is hard to hear, and I can not blame you for wanting to do what you see as best for your children. However trying to "talk sense" into her will push her farther away. Is there anyway you can get custody? It might make her fantasy world easier and more foggy, but it could be better for your kids to be in their own home, and be the the parent they do not feel betrayed them.

Just a few thoughts.

#1251378 01/05/05 05:50 PM
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dalson Offline OP
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i know yall are right but my logical side keeps trying to take over 15 more minutes and ill be safe, she gets off work so i wont be able to e-mail.
kmej
all your talk about gym memberships. i joined one and have a trainer set up for 5:20
im gonna get me some muscles

#1251379 01/05/05 05:54 PM
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GOOD FOR YOU DALSON!!!! YEAH!!

I went and bought me a new pair of running pants today and plan on getting on that tredmill tonight after the little tornadoes are catching some ZZZZ's!!

Have you thought about trying to get custody???

Talk to me for the next 15 minutes it will help pass the time! It will do you no good at all to send her that. I stabbed myself in the foot lots of times by not listening, and telling H what I felt was right when he did not want to hear it. It pushed him away farther!!

#1251380 01/05/05 06:07 PM
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dalson Offline OP
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thanks k
i filed the d 12-2 with me getting custody
i dont want to keep the kids from there mom, i want them all back.
im off to the gym.
this trainer i heard is nazilike
just what i need

#1251381 01/05/05 06:09 PM
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I agree that you can't "talk" any sense into your W right now. Unfortunately she is going to have to face how her son really feels about her. Who knows...maybe it will make somthing click and she will realize what she's doing.

I tried so hard to "talk" my WH out of what he was doing....never worked....just pushed him further away. I have actually decided that I no longer have the energy to fight with him. He wants out and I'm going to let him go. He will have to deal with what he's done for the rest of his life. Hopefully by the time he wakes up I will be moved on and with Mr. Wonderful.

I feel sad that your son is going through all of this as I do for my own son. It's hard to watch your child going through such hurt. Hang in there and keep being who you are. You just be strong for your son!


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