I want to officially dedicate, but don't think the local radio stations would accomodate me. So, I am doing it here, where many of you know where I am coming from, and what I mean.

Thank you all for your support and time over this past year. This song has gotten me through many many many long workouts, where I sweated and strained my anger, rage, and hurt out.

I never wanted the "I Will Survive" song as my theme song. I want to be more than just a Survivor. And that is FBF/OW's "theme" song for her life ~ and look where that got her! OK, I know that was a DJ, but my point remains. I want to do more than just survive, I want to thrive and grow.

So, THANK YOU!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Fighter
Written by Christina Aguilera, Scott Storch

After all you put me through
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end, I wanna thank you
'Cause you made me that much stronger

Well I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
Called your bluff, time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out in shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know, just how capable
I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, yeah, ohh

Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I'd realize your game
I heard, you're going round
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave

After all of the fights and the lies
'Cause you're wanting to haunt me
But that won't work anymore
No more, uh uh, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how, to be this way now
And never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust, so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies
Disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You, won't, stop, me

I am a fighter and I
(I'm a fighter)
I ain't gon' stop
(I ain't gon' stop)
There is no turning back
I've had enough, yeah...

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
(Oh, ooh yeah, ooh yeah)
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Thought I would forget (thought I)
I remember (ohh)
'Cause I remember (ohh)
I remember

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

<small>[ March 02, 2005, 11:11 AM: Message edited by: Spider Slayer ]</small>

You Go girl!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I love that song.It certainly describes many if us strong MB'ers here that's for sure! Glad to hear you have overcome and conquered!

O

Thanks for your support, Ogirl.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Glad to hear you have overcome and conquered! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Most days, I do feel that way. Every now and again, it is as painful as if it had happened yesterday. But, like a quote I have hung up in my bathroom that I got here, "For everyone, healing is a process, but recovery is a CHOICE."

I choose recovery, not just healing. I hope you find your personal recovery some day soon, too. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Yours has been a long road.

Spidey

Thanks for the post....Spidey....as a funny note...when I attended my first cardio class...the song they played was "I will survive"...coincidence? I don't think so...it is certainly true we have had to fight to get back...fight to get better....wisdom is hard won and earned for all struggling to build a better us, together.

Keep fighting the good fight..Spidey. ss

<small>[ March 03, 2005, 12:08 AM: Message edited by: SureSurvivor ]</small>

Spidey, great song! I've never heard it before. It does fit you perfectly. Actually I could sing it for myself too.

I swear, within the past few days I was thinking about you. Remembering your post about sitting with your H at that (Japanese?) restaurant ages ago. Wow, he was one fogged out dude. But weren't they all back then? I never had to do the Plan B gig, but the fog was thick anyway.

So here's to ya Spidey! To all you've been through and to all you've overcome. You are one he** of a woman! Your MB friend and fellow warrior, CV!

ss, thanks for your continued support of me. I just think the world of you, and am so incredibly happy that you are on the flip side of this A thing. I know you still question, you still struggle, but I think you are in a better place than when you have to actively "fight" the A. At least it is all on YOUR terms now.

CV, I have been thinking about you a lot, too. I remember that sushi lunch every single time a BS gets on here and says that there is no way their M can be recovered, because their WS only wants a D. I know how they feel, but I also know how quickly things can turn around.

We have both been put through the wringer, and I know that I have come out better for it. My skin is a bit thicker, but I am more than I thought I was 2 years ago. I hope you feel you are better for having gone through this, as well. I know you have already been through a lot to prove your self strength, but I also have to remember how much OLDER you are than I am. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Perhaps I will have your amount of life experience when I get to be your age. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I am baaaaad. Love you, girlie. We still have the bottle of wine ready to drink when we finally get together, right?

Spidey

Spidey, luckily I don't have a problem with my age. Trust me, I don't want to go back to any previous decades. Although the 40s sure didn't end on a great note! Thanks to my 30something friends on MB, such as you, at least I won't forever carry a prejudice around because of the 30something "B" we had the displeasure of ever knowing. It helped me realize that a low life can be any age, just like a woman of class and integrity can be any age.

Do I feel that I am better from this experience? Just yesterday I actually told H that at this point in time I don't feel better. I was actually at a really great point in my life pre-A, minus the stress and sadness which occurred during that awful 2002/2003 year. I could have lived my life very well never having experienced this A. However, hopefully one day I will see the big picture. One good thing came out of it which is quite miraculous. The A almost has a Karmic feel regarding this. As I've writtten before, H's S had an A in 1989/90 and left my cousin who she was Med to. Needless to say that was really difficult. H's B left his W for an OW around 2001. In both cases I felt that H's family accepted the OPs really quickly. There were no consequences. The OPs attended family get togetheres with ease. Out with the old, in with the new. It always bothered me and my R with H's other S was strained because of the way I felt she accepted the OPs with open arms. About a year before H's A this SIL's H had an A. I believe it totally changed her viewpoint being the BS. Unbeknownst to me she sensed H was having an A and tried to help me. After d-day she was one of our biggest supporters. Now all the past crap between us is gone. My uncomfortableness with H's family is gone. Truthfully, if she hadn't have experienced an A, and then me, I don't think we would have ever been close again. So I guess that's a good thing.

Anyway honey, keep that vino chilled. I do hope one day we can drink it together. I'll never forget your post to me when I was so down and out of our perfect girl's night out together. You'll never know how much that post meant to me. Oh crap, now I'm getting all teary-eyed. Love you! CV