Folks:

I wanted to know if there were other boards like this one (dealing with infidelity) that are not so based/biased on a certain plan, etc...? This board is called "marriage builders" and I think many poeple who post here might be better sevred by people posting who followed the plans and can help them with the principles. I think while I still like to post here, I feel my advice and support for others may be better recieved by all if on a different forum that was not so geared to a "a plan".

I found this board called Face Reality,,,what are your thoughts? Does anyone else post on another board (not including SYMC, which is another version of this board).

Thanks in advance for the responses.

LM

Hey LM,

Don't go! Ohmigawrsh! Please don't go. What you said to me just earlier tonight made damn good sense! We're all individuals; not automatons. Who would give lemonman's special commentary/feedback/advice/potential-[censored]-kicking if you left?

Sally

LOL, I am not leaving the board, that was not what my post was really about. I do think that at times I still feel I have to remember that this is a "marriage building" board and that is still the MAIN GOAL of those who read it....as it should be. That is NOT my goal anymore (I am divorced). For some reason, I just never gravitated over to the Divorced board, I am not sure why.

I was just wondering what other forums are out there that I might join to become active in. This forum will ALWAYS remain near and dear to my heart as when things were very low in my life and I needed something or someone to help me sort through my pain and struggles this place was here. I am not the same person I was when I started posting here, it is sometimes eerie to read my posts back then.

LM

Lemonman - I agree with Sally. I understand your frustration at the principles here but we are not all blindly following them. Just like religion, I believe we adapt these principles to our own situation. It is essential for some posters to get a kick up the backside and you, dear man, are very good at that. Blunt, forthright, great advice. That's what we get when we check your posts. There might be other boards but always remember that something guided you here one lonely night! "You can check out anytime you want, but you can never leave". TT

you never left or gravitated cause you love us!!! lol

You give the no nonsense balance here. You remind me of my Dad, tough on the outside with a heart of gold. If you didn't care you would be so tough.

Maybe I will join the TOW and start kicking some A$$ over there...now that might be interesting.

How long would I last untill I was canned from there?

Now, that would be a HOOT! I might hafta to go with ya, LM! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Confused:

Thanks for weighing in on the post. PLease answer me something here. What do you mean by the word "nonsense balance". What is this balance weighing against?

LM

"Are there other boards like this"

Betrayed Spouses Support - more for support than advice
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rladultery

All Sides of an Affair - discussion for BS, WS, OP
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ivallsides

I think I know how lemonman is feeling ... although I might be 100% WRONG. I am a former GQIIer, and although I've posted there from time to time, the Divorced/Divorcing board just doesn't "DO IT" for me. I enjoy the forum here, with (some) names I recognize. I've posted a suggestion on the D/D forum just recently about the possibility of starting a new forum for those of us who ARE divorced and trying to figure out how to meet people and date and create new LASTING relationships. If there is anyone in that position who would like to meander over to my thread on D/D, it is here: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...;page=0#2701900

Hmmm, about five whole minutes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />. But what an interesting five minutes it would be.

LET 'EM HAVE IT LEMONMAN!!! Roared Shelly!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

LM the only thing I have ever disagreed with you about is TIMING.

I would MB my butt of right up to the point that it was wasted effort. Then I would divorce and move on.

It's the point of wasted effort that's different between you and I and us and everyone else.

I behaved in an MB way that you would maybe have considered to be 'doormat' for months, yet now my loving baby is in my bed calling for morning coffee and offering all kinds of rewards if I do <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And I would argue that at no time did I ever forgo my self-respect, sacrificed on the altar of 'the marriage at all costs'.

FInally, remember that MB is a resource NOT ONLY to recover after infidelity, but to assure good marriages before and during marriage.

"HN/HN" and "avoiding lovebusters" for example are barely about infidelity at all.

You are useful and welcome here - as you get tangibly hurt by proxy when people allow themselves to be treated like dirt. Just know when they do that, such is not MB behaviour. Such is very useful behaviour.

I've read Torn Asunder, Not Just Friends, Infidelity - a survivors guide, The Monogamy Myth and tons of other 'marriage dynamics' book and in truth none of their advice varies much from the concepts of MB, they are just less clearly 'organised' into a plan than MB.

You never know LM, MB principles might JUST help your NEXT relationship be a brilliant one !;)

LM, I read facereality for a few months and it is a small forum of 5 or 6 who run everyone else out, totally based on each one of their´s personal opinion. You may as well gather a few friends on msn and have a chat.

But there is one thread there that is very interesting, because it is original and went on for months... that poster wasn´t easy to kick out. Haven´t checked on him for a while, now you reminded me I will

LM, you could also try http://www.survivinginfidelity.com. But I do hope you don't leave here.
Mulan