I know you care, Art. And I really do appreciate. I'm sorry for getting so upset. I'm just having a really bad day. <3

I gave my testimony to a group of men at church this morning. By the end of it I was crying as I recalled the things I had done and the grace I have been given both by my wife and God. The men I was talking were thankful for me sharing my experiences with them and some of them said it touched them that I was so open and honest. One man said it helped him realize he needed to make sure he got the same help I got.

Secret I hope you have a better and a nice weekend with your husband. Let God bless you and give you grace in your life. Just know I care and want the best for you in your life.

I did really good last night. I went out for a couple of drinks and while driving home I had a really strong desire to go to my ex's apartment. Approaching the intersection, I was screaming and crying. I didn't know which way to go. Turning left to my ex's or right to go home. I knew the right way, but I wanted to take the wrong. I then asked God to turn the wheel for me. I went right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Still there was the urge to turn around, but I made it home. Success!!

2 Corinthians 10
3 For though we live in the world we are not carrying on a worldly war, 4 for the weapons of our warfare are not worldly but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 5 We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle to the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.

Hey, great success!! The verses above say we are to take thoughts captive that we might obey Christ and that is exactly what you did. You took the thought captive and you prayed about it. I'm proud of you for making the RIGHT choice.

Yay for me!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> That was tough though. Very tough. The temptation was incredible.

I know, those times can be very tough. When I first started going through my recovery it was as though my mind we being constantly attacked. I was continuously wanting to return to the things I had done before, but each time I told God it was wrong and to help me and turn me in the right direction.

Your success was great!!! Remember it and each time a thought pops into your head share it with God and let him know you are struggling. You might be doing it a good bit at first, but then it gets easier. Now I rarely have those thoughts entering into my mind. God has helped me sweep out my mind and clean it up.

Hey, don't forget, you are special in God's eyes, someone cherished, someone valuable, someone loved, someone He wants close. And you are that in other people's eyes too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Do you think I really need counseling? Maybe I can do this on my own.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You are asking the wrong person. Put yourself in front of a mirror and look at the person in front of you and ask that question and hopefully the person answering will be honest with you.

My appointment is Tuesday evening so I have the long weekend to decide what to do. We'll see how my behavior is this weekend. Wish me luck!! And thank you again!

I have been reading this discussion and I love all that you have offered new cheater. The recent article by Michele Scheinkman is an important review of various perspectives on infidelity. It reminded me that honesty can sometimes backfire.

I asked you to be honest with yourself about counseling. I'm not sure if I didn't place an unrealist burden on you. For years I would look at the counseling sections in the yellow pages, but never could get the courage up to call and make an appointment. I looked back at how I was challenging you earlier and encouraging you to see a counselor. Obviously I believe that is the right thing for you to do. I believe you need to confront some issues head on and be able to get to the point where you can be able to share with your husband your deepest and most intimate feelings. Until you can do that you will never be free of the burdens that hangs onto you. Part of this problem you face is an intimacy issue. It's a fear of getting close and opening up genuinly. It's easier to flip from person to person, because then we never have to be real. And if we never have deep, close person friends, we never have to be real.

So, I encourage you to keep your appointment. Follow through and work on your problem and I will keep encouraging and let someone who is professional guide you with the hard work that has to be done.

As always, I know you can do it. There are others here I know will join in and give there support as well.

Just in case you have been watching for posts today I have been keeping you in my prayers. I hope whatever choices you have made they are the best ones for you and I encourage you to continue making those choices that best benefit you and your life.