Orchid: You go to plan B when you have made sufficient changes to improve yourself and no long choose to tolerate the disrespectful actions of a WS.

What does her family think of her 'confession'?


Orchid: I am sorry you are hurt but the WS is not sorry. In fact right now she and the OM are plotting to ruin you. It is a neccessary step of the A. Know this and make your plan to survive. Have you read Love must be Tough by Dr. James Dobson? Do you have a good MC or better yet, have you called Jennifer from MB?

Don't make any suggestions for the WS. Let her figure out what t/d. You need to decide what you will do. Letting an unrepentant live in your home creates turmoil. You could make your stance and she will leave. In a huff, claiming all kind of stuff but she will leave. Notify your personal support group of her current actions so they w/b there to support you. If necessary notify the police that you are having problems with your W due her having an A. With that notification, if she tries to pull the Domestic Violence charge on you, you will have already have it on file with the police that she is the one out of control. Remember you must be in control. In order to do that, also pray for a clear mind, calm heart and lots of patience. Read those books I suggested to keep you focused.


Orchid: You have more at your disposal than she does but since she is a woman, it is easy for her to turn the tables on you unless you expose. Consider the suggestions above. You are enabling a WS by NOT exposing and hurting yourself as well.

JMHO,
L.

We've already done all the exposure that I had available. She seems satisfied now that her whole world knows.

Her family is now avoiding me, I knew that blood is thicker than water and she must have gotten to them. Well it is her family so that's her priveledge. So I really don't know their reaction, but I would expect them to be at least dissappointed.

This is my personal support group. I will look for that book.

Thanks

Close friends, neighbors, children, pets, co-workers, doctor, dentist, MC, pastor/minister, even the nice old lady down the straeet, etc???? You'd be surprised how many people have dealt with this over their lives. Exposure isn't as scary as it sounds.

Exposure doens't mean tell all to all. It means tell what you need to get their help but be truthful.

Let us know how you are doing.

take care,
L.

Hi Hurts, don't panic, nothing has changed today, so what are you worried about? Did her dad talk to her about her affair?

Also, the W might have told her family that it is "over" but guess what? You are STILL MARRIED. So..it's not over. She is still your wife. So, stop panicking and just do your best to not lovebust and do not let her bait you into fights.

Did her parents talk to her about her affair?

You are right I was in a panic. She is home and in a fair mood. It is driving her nuts that I won't let her see what I am typing, so I will sign off for now and post when the coast is clear.

Hurts, she will throw ALOT of crap at you and you just can't react to it. Just imagine that you are dealing with a falling down drunk. Would you take her rantings seriously? Of course not.

She is not saying anything we don't hear on here every day. It all changes from day to day and it means very little in the scheme of things. Confucious say: don't listen to crazy drunks!

Hang tight and stick to your mission!

Well I guess the in laws didn't express their disappointment as strongly as I had hoped. She pretty well told everyone that the marriage is over with little hope to salvage it. That ended the conversation. She was not disrespectful to me.

At first I thought she was ready to give in to counseling, then went back to wanting nothing but a divorce. I guess I have to wait and see what happens next. This is enough to drive a person nuts.

You can be sure that she was embarrassed about it. Hang in there and just stick to your plan.

They don't call it a rollercoaster ride for nuthin'. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Know that this will keep happening. This is where you get to decide whether you will continue to allow her to put you on that ride w/o a seat belt or when you will get off (remove yourself from the A).

L.