I am so hurt and pissed right now I could really barf. I found out from an older neighbor that WH was home all day from work yesterday and had a woman with him. Now what? Now, after they scr**ed in my house, things have probably rekindled.

Thanks.
Trixie

no on this

seems you paid good money for Steve's advice .... I think you ought to follow Steve's suggestions.


How do you know this happened? Do you have a 'nanny cam' ?


Where does WH say he is going while you watch the kids?

I have some ideas about this .... depending on what your h is saying his plans are...

Thanks for your replies, Pep.

I don't really know what they did, but they were apparantly there all afternoon. Maybe they were just playing checkers <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> WH has been sleeping in the guest room since a week after d-day...

I don't know. Maybe I need to tell my lawyer to fire up that Separation Agreement. Having her at our house was my bottom line. I am just so afraid of being a single mom with 2 small kids and no family in the area. I also can't seem to let go of the 'what could have beens.' We did have a great M and friendship in the beginning.

No confrontation but I would pass mega hints that something in your house smells funny. Pick the room you think they were in and just ask if he smells anything, then watch his reaction. Don't press it just mention it and then watch. Be creative, sniff the air and ask if he can smell that foul ordor. Tell him it doesn't smell like baby poop but it does stink. Be a good actress. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

If you can't pull it off, then don't do it. I used this technique and you should have seen how the WS went into a panic. He kept smelling his clothes, saying he bathe and I kept saying the stench still existed. It was funny and quite revealing. re: Contact with OW had been reestablished and I didn't have firm proof but the smell comments brought out the guilt. Can't guarantee it will work all the time but worth a shot if you have to wait til you speak with Steve again.

I told my WS something smelled. Ws said he didn't smell anything and maybe his nose wasn't working quite right. I dutifully agreed. LOL!!! Then I told him if his nose wasn't working right, maybe other parts weren't also......he looked puzzled, then I quickly replied 'oh you know like your eyes, ears...you know like senses or other body parts'. The WS was too dull in the head to figure out what I meant but I said it. Now he had admitted some of his senses weren't working well. That was a tool I could use later on. When I centered the stench eminating from him, I asked him to leave. He even bathe and I said, nope not sure what you have been rolling in (he used t/b a gardner) but it's worse than anything you have ever brought in from work, can't you smell it? LOL!!! Of course he couldn't. WS are dull to the smells of the OP. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

Trixie, I would confront him right away with this, why wait? Then call SH first thing Monday morning and get his input.

For me, this would be a deal breaker. Any slimeball that infested my OWN SAFE home, where my children are, with his sleazy affair would be done. I cannot think of anything more dangerous, cruel and disrespectful to a spouse and children.

Do Orchid's 'stench sniff' bit .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> like she said ... only if you can pull it off.


I think he's lying. Don't you?

Tell your H that you think you can arrange a sitter, and you really need a night away from the baby, so you're pretty certain that YOU are now free to join him at the football game..... then watch what he does next. If he seems pretty excited that you are going too, or even if he is reasonably neutral about your going ... he prolly is not going to meet her. But if this gets him all UNwired, he's got secret plans.

If he gets all UNwired, I would call OW's H and just pass on info that your H will have unaccountable time that day between this and that time.... so he can fumble his WW on his end. $10 says OW's H would follow his wife around that particular day ... a free PI service for you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

It was never dead, that is why they screwed in your home.

When you confront him, don't ASK him if he did it, tell him YOU KNOW what he has done and ask for an explanation. Don't make it more difficult for yourself by asking him if he did something you KNOW he did. Then you waste all your time arguing about IF he did something you and he both know you did. So just tell him that a neighbor has seen is going on and has alerted you.

And good for your neighbor for telling you! She must not have fallen for the lame excuse that "it would only hurt the wife if I told her." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Sorry that happened Trixie. For some reason the OW loves to rut in the family home. When I found out I hauled our bed up to the dumpster, sheets, comforter, and all.

Of course, I'm getting a divorce, so if you still want WH maybe you better pass.

thanks, all.

I still sleep, every night, in a bed that WH/OW slept in while I was gone....
The things that WHs think are acceptable...

You must be kidding?

Trixie, it is not a lovebuster to confront your H with the evidence that he F***** the OW in your bed. It is an obligation. You must STOP trying to tip toe around protecting him from the consequences of his cruelty. Confront him and stop playing stupid games.

Of course the affair is not "imploding." Can you not see the evidence before your very face? He just screwed her in your bed. He plans on meeting with her again. How in the world is that "implosion?" That is a FULL ACTIVE AFFAIR and your face is being rubbed in it. They have now brought it into your CHILDREN's own home.

What do you think about Pep's suggestion?

L.

Having a "bottom line" is pretty useless unless you are prepared to enforce it.

Thanks, Trixie.

BS' are not allowed to wish anything good to come from a ws. Instead the BS s/b spending their time on making sure you and your family are financially and emotionally supported.

Stop spending time wondering about a WS. There is no logic or hope in a Ws. Now you can wish for your spouse to come back that but would include you taking decisive action on your part. This includes you to get a good plan A and plan B done.

Did you read Pep's last post to u?

L.

How would he ever realize anything if there are NEVER consequences?? You don't even want to confront him. He won't ever wake up until the affair is ended.

Good points. I'll confront him. I don't think he really gives two s**ts about how cruel he is being. What would be considered a successful outcome to the confrontation...I doubt very much he'll be sorry, just defensive. Should I try to be matter of fact about it? Any suggestions for reverse babble?

I appreciate your patience with me. I am just so devastated by all of this that I've created my own sort of 'fog'