Hello, I know I am affected by infidelity but I am confused and emotional and don't know where to put my post. I made an apt today with a depression counselor as I realize I can't deal with this on my own anymore. It was so hard because I am proud. I am considering getting back together with my ex, as we never stopped talking, while we were separated I fell in love with someone I thought was faithful. I am confused as to wondering if I can ever be faithful to anyone not knowing if I can trust. I even wonder if the right thing would be to be unfaithful myself to try and understand why someone would want constant sex with new people. I just don't know how any of the strategies can help me trust myself. My faith in people and life is so shaken. I feel insignificant, and unreal.

Thank you, Nat

Sounds good that you are seeking help and councelling.

I would definitely not recommend being unfaithful yourself. It might "even the score" but you are going to lose your self respect and only serve to complicate an already complicated situation.

Break up with the person who has cheated with you if you can't ever trust him/her. Your view of the word will be dark and synical for a while but at least you can hold out hope that there are people just like you that have the morals to do the right thing. All you have to do is find another person like you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> And trust me... as ugly as this world is, there are some good people out there that will not cheat under any circumstance.

Hey Nat,
From a post I read, shounds like you went ahead and pursued the ex. I am a little disappointed to hear that you never stopped talking to your ex. I would not suggest keeping in touch with an ex while in new relationships. But that's a side point.

I think you did the right thing by dumping the person who cheated on you. Cheating is unacceptable in my book and warrents a divorce no matter how many kids there are-- in my opinion.

You sound like you have some problems to work out with your ex but hopefully cheating will not be one of the issues and you can put this behind you and see that some people in life do not cheat. I personally have never cheated on a girlfriend and actively protect myself from situations where something inappropriate could happen. I pray that I will never cheat as long as I live. I hope you'll be able to say the same.

sincerely,
wasp89