I was dating someone over the summer...
Gosh, we had SUCH a great time, loved every minute of it, but it crashed and burned.
He has SO many qualities that I wanted. We had a connection I've not known before...but it was just not working out (I cut bait).
After I dumped him, he started talking smack about me and was sleeping with someone very soon after. It took me some time to get over it, but I was doing good. I have no idea where I ever thought it would go, but when it was over, well, you know, you just deal with it!
SO, after talking smack (we have mutual friends, is how I know all of this), he just sends me an email after I've not heard from him in jeez, 2 months maybe...?
It FREAKED me out!

Has anyone had this happen? I responded and said, "thanks, you too. Bet DD is excited! Hope all is well, take care, D"

Why did it kind of leave me shaking??? I'm quite surprise about my physical and emotional response! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

What did his e-mail say? Was it friendly?

Do you want to be friendly with someone who talked badly of you? Did he apologize? I guess that would be step 1 to re-establishing any communication for me.

Soooo... he crashed and burned with her, and now he's checking the water to see if he can re-connect with you?

Soooo... why DID it leave you shaking? Wondering "what if"? Are you still sure he's not something you want?

His email just said: Just wishing you a Merry Christmas

Lexxxy...I don't hold any grudges toward him. I haven't talked to him because of that reason though (him being mean about me). He had sent me some messages at first asking if he could be my friend...I told him he $ucked as a BF, that I didn't need friends like him. (It really was true!)
I mean, when we were together it was great, but he has some issues...(who doesn't?) but I didn't see it going anywhere at that time.

Faith...VERY good question, and of course I've already asked myself that. I COULD find out what's been going on with him, but have made it a point not to...
Am I sure? Honestly...no, I'm not sure. I'm scared. I SO enjoyed the time we spent together! I'm scared that I would be weak and give him a chance and forget all the reasons why I broke up with him. I KNOW I treated him better than he ever had been, but it was not returned. RC was just huge with us, and that's why I enjoyed it all.
So, yes, there are some things I still want about him, but others I don't.

My friend just emailed me and said:
You know what that is don't ya? Trying to stick a foot in a door that
he's hoping isn't quite closed yet! They are ALL the same I tell ya!

Sorry guys, those are her words!

I don't know why I'm freaking out...I'm sure I'll be fine. I just need to keep reading all my books!

Everytime I'm down, or lonely, or having a hard time with something, XBF J calls me. (not very often - about once a week, or once every 2 weeks) It's like he KNOWS I need someone to talk to. There are so many things I miss about him. THere were so many things right about us. But I know we can't be together, and know better than to even try. But it freaks me out every time he calls, because it's like he's psychic, and is still in tune with my needs. I focus my thoughts back on the reason we can't be together, and accept it. One trick that helps me, is comparing it to an alcoholic. No matter how much you may love that person, that one obstacle is still in the way, and can prevent you from having a healthy relationship. Until it's fixed, you can't be together, so you have to let it go.

Yes, I think that's exactly what's happening, is I'm taking care of me. I mean, if I wanted to settle for less than I wanted, I would have stayed with him in the first place.
Some of issues will resolve with time. (had a very bad D and has not dealt with all of that -so I found out DURING!)

The other part could change if he so chose. But I don't know where he is. I know where *I* am though, and I KNOW I'm not strong enough right now. I had erased all his messages, his phone numbers, "terminated" him as my friends would say so I would not be tempted to contact him.

I'd say half of my battle with it is his DD. Her and I were probably more in love than he and I!!! She needed someone like me in her life, and I just thought she was awesome. I miss just as much. AND, of course it being the holidays I think of her have seen things I'd like to get her. Ah well...just a little stumble for me there this morning. I need to keep in mind the negative! (that sounds horrible, but what *I* need to do to protect myself for now!)

Not sure Drita.
I'd say there must be some hidden feelings there for you to be shaky.

But, is it enough for a strong relationship?? I don't get that impression from what you're saying.

I went out with this guy this summer also.
I could tell he could like me by a couple of things he said to me.
I didn't feel it would have a chance, so I stopped it before it started.

I hear from him thru email about once a month or so.
I can say that it gives my stomach a small flutter, but I think it's more because I know someone is showing interest.
I still remain on the position, that it couldn't have been.

Interesting though, very interesting!
Karona

I'm game!!!