Hey guys,

I think my WH is reading my posts because of something he said last night. He referred to me by "Loni" and this is the only place that he could see me referred to as that.

So I thought you would, maybe, like to share your opinions with him on this thread. Or tell him what you would like him to know.

Well, I would like to welcome him to marriagebuilders. I hope he sticks around. If he has been reading, he must know by now how much you love him. He is making a HUGE mistake thinking that an affair will solve any problems. Affairs have less than a 3% chance of leading to a marriage, and of those that do, 3/4's end up divorced.

The statistics show that if he stays with his family, and ENDURES, he will be happy again. I hope that he will do some more reading here and see if he can find it in his heart to work on the marriage.

I hope he recognizes the pain you have gone through.

I wonder if he ever thought for ONE second that he jeopardized your life when he chose to have an A. He could've given you a death sentence via sexually transmitted disease and you would never know it until months or years later. I had to get tested and when the results was negative, my WH said, "well, at least you can relax now". I wanted to knock the lights out of him! I said, "No, WE got lucky! There are wives and husbands out there who aren't and will not be so lucky!"

I hope your WH reads the post about the BS whose WH's OW is harassing them. If he thinks his OW is not a "Fatal Attraction" psycho, he should consider himself lucky and hopefully sees the ugly, despicable and life threatening risks he placed on you and your family when he deicded to dip his stick in a "dark" well. It's amazing how WS don't think about that until DUH, it's too late. LOL! Sorry, can you feel my anger?

Loni,

I really haven't got all the details of your situation - but, I've been posting on here for about 10 months. I am the BS and my husband had an affair with a co-worker. We both posted on this site months ago - and boy, it didn't work out at all. I suggested he post on here to get insight - but all that he did was bash me on my posts. He got hit many times by 2 x 4's by other posters - so he finally gave up and stopped posting. Reading each others posts just didn't work for us.

We are now well into recovery, he left his old job and things are going along slowly, but surely. We still have our ups and downs. Thank goodness he finally left his job - this was stalling our recovery. But, he is a stubborn man and refused to leave, under any circumstances. OW was very vengefull, once the affair ended - tried to ruin his career/reputation. This was the best thing for us. Now he has a new job and he loves it.

I went thru everything everyone else did on this site, the hurt, insecurity, the why's? I didn't get lucky like Stargazelily did, my test was positive for STD. I am ok now - thank goodness. I thought it would never end - the fighting, crying, depression, everything was thrown at me, all at once, but the kitchen sink. Luckily, he finally got out of the fog and woke up. I was determined and it worked out for the best.

Take Care.

Unfortunately, if he is still involved in the affair, there is nothing we can write that will get through to him. After all, he is with his soulmate now, living the life that was originally intended for him by the magical forces that control the universe.

It's a pity that he broke your heart, married you and had some wonderful children with you, because this is the woman that was meant for him. This woman that would leave her husband and family and tear apart your family is full of amazing qualities and is truly the woman he was destined to be with all along.

He must be the most happy man in the world now...

*snort*

I doubt that my WH would get too much from reading things here if he is still with the OW. Of that, I am 99.9% sure. But, I believe in the power of God and that He will continue to challenge my H's decision to destroy his family for another woman. I hope that, if he reads this, he just might have a little reality infuse his delusion.

Loni

No, but I would recommend to you that you just let him read at his own pace and let him read or not read or learn or not learn at his own pace. If and when he wants advice from any of us, then I am sure he will ask or respond on his own.

Unfortunately, if he is still involved in the affair, there is nothing we can write that will get through to him. After all, he is with his soulmate now, living the life that was originally intended for him by the magical forces that control the universe.

It's a pity that he broke your heart, married you and had some wonderful children with you, because this is the woman that was meant for him. This woman that would leave her husband and family and tear apart your family is full of amazing qualities and is truly the woman he was destined to be with all along.

He must be the most happy man in the world now...

ROFL So true. They are both getting a chance to be with an AMAZING individual. The honesty, commitment, integrity, kindness... WOW. Everyone wants someone who will hurt their kids, friends, spouses just to be with them. And, of course, they will never do those things to each other. Because, they are sooooo special and it will be different for them.

Loni

Loni,

Was that a little bit of sarcasm I just read? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hang in there!

Isn't it enlightening and amusing how so many OP, after pledging their undying love and devotion to WS, turn on them in the blink on an eye when the affair ends, yet so many of us BS remain fairly steadfast in our love and support of our WS, even through our own pain.

For some WS, the fog clears too late and either their marriage has already over or their BS has moved on to greener pastures.

Who