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nams #1690518 09/25/06 05:05 PM
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2Much - 2 words Plan B

Ok well that's 1 word and a letter.

Get him out. If you really want to detach you will have the devil of a job with him living there. Just look at the peace Pio has after only a few weeks.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
bigkahuna #1690519 09/25/06 05:06 PM
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Luna - Trust me I am not in any way confused. LOL


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
bigkahuna #1690520 09/25/06 06:40 PM
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2Much - 2 words Plan B

Ok well that's 1 word and a letter.


I have to agree. The biggest problem with Plan B is its name. We are conditioned to think something called a Plan "B" is somehow inferior because we only do it if Plan A fails. We only consider a Plan B if we absolutely have to.

A better way to think of it is Phase I and Phase 2. I have heard so many people say that Phase 2 is really what saves the M. I do believe it. Phase I allows for fence-sitting, cake eating, indecision.

Phase 1 reorganizes the thought structure of the WS. It is critical to the process. Phase 2 is where they finally have to make a decision. I still remember how much fear of separation I had. I think it was important that we waited as long as we did. But now that we are apart, the difference is huge. I am completely at peace with me. I have also seen a huge change in dialogue from WW. Just our MSN conversation last night was eye-opening.

If you cohabitate until the spring, you will be screaming for D by then. It may be that after the D, your WH will see the light and decide he wants back - but you won't want him back. I don't think you can survive that long together and have any hope of recovery. I am guessing that by about January you and WH will be hanging from the chandelier like Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner in The War of the Roses. And we know how that turned out.

I think Plan B is the best part of the Harley plan. Highly under-rated.

ToddAC,

I did read between the lines. When I do, all I can see is your IQ. Anything else I should be looking at?

Myrta,

I never said you LOOKED like the Hulk. I said you have a temper like the Hulk. [Oops. I hope that doesn't make her mad.]

You said I would not consider R based on what people here post. That is, in fact, quite wrong. I am willing to bet that very many people here would have or will choose the D option if it were not for the advice they got from people who have ridden the rollercoaster (and survived). Actually your posts, in particular, over the past several days have radically changed my thinking. I wrote gemela last night to hurry back because we ALL miss her - and I actually meant it.

piojitos #1690521 09/25/06 07:24 PM
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I just found pictures. Not at ALL how I imagined Pio would look. Not that I had any preconceived ideas. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

KiwiJ #1690522 09/25/06 07:26 PM
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BTW, can't remember now who asked if DD would mind that I posted her email. That is her "group" email to friends and workmates and not a private one to me. I made sure no real names were used as well.

KiwiJ #1690523 09/25/06 08:23 PM
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I just found pictures. Not at ALL how I imagined Pio would look. Not that I had any preconceived ideas.


I think I'll exfoliate some more. My nails are simply a mess in that photo.

So KiwiJ,

According to your EN list, you've been there, done that but Drucilla got the T-shirt.

piojitos #1690524 09/25/06 08:25 PM
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BTW, I see that Dr. Jeckyl posted on her thread but immediately deleted it. Wonder what that was about?

piojitos #1690525 09/25/06 08:32 PM
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Why do you call her that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Myrta #1690526 09/25/06 09:40 PM
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Dr. Jeckyl and his alter ego Mr. Hyde. Seems somehow fitting.

piojitos #1690527 09/25/06 09:43 PM
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Yes it does seem fitting.

Quote
According to your EN list, you've been there, done that but Drucilla got the T-shirt.


Je ne comprends pas <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

KiwiJ #1690528 09/25/06 09:55 PM
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Did you see the T-shirt?

piojitos #1690529 09/25/06 09:57 PM
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I am curious how long it will be before Mr. Hyde shows back up here. My guess is three days max. It's only a matter of time. Mr. Hyde is like HPV. It might disappear for a little while but sooner or later it is going to show up again. And when it does, it is ugly.

piojitos #1690530 09/25/06 10:05 PM
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Well bigK. I think about you a lot lately. I think you are a pretty good role model for the BS considering the prospect of R. KiwiJ puts it differently. She says if an Aussie can do it - anyone can.

Anyway, I am going to take a leap of faith I think. I believe this is my final answer. No - wait - I want to use a lifeline. No. Never mind. This is my final answer.

Bigger,

As I was typing, it suddenly occurred to me that the "n" and the "b" are very close to each other on the keyboard. In fact they are so close that I only caught it on preview. Phew!

You laid out a pretty good blueprint. It makes sense.

piojitos #1690531 09/25/06 10:07 PM
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LMAO Pio.

I've just seen it now. I had to search. You know I could probably wear that and no one but MBers would know what it meant.

Do you still have the tache?

piojitos #1690532 09/25/06 10:10 PM
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And Myrta,

Thanks for putting the final nail in the coffin of my marriage. It seriously needed to happen. It is no longer dying, lingering, comatose and on life support. It is over once and for all.

Now let's see if there really is an after life. I always believed there was. Now I'll find out.

Tell Stan-ley he is a good man.

piojitos #1690533 09/25/06 10:15 PM
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It is over once and for all.


What did I miss? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

KiwiJ #1690534 09/25/06 10:21 PM
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Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Today is the first day in a very long time that I am truly optomistic about our future. I think the demons are gone.

Some marriages should be saved, some should be abandoned and some should be buried.

It is time to start over. I see it now very clearly. G wants to come back and now I want the same thing. We'll see how it goes. Or, as bigger says, maybe we are about to be on the same path.

KiwiJ #1690535 09/25/06 10:23 PM
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What did you miss? Heck, what did *I* miss. I'm getting the feeling I'm being blamed for something here but I can't quite put my finger on it.....


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
piojitos #1690536 09/25/06 10:24 PM
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I'm still confused. Final nails in coffins, no longer dying, but over doesn't usually mean optimism.

KiwiJ #1690537 09/25/06 10:30 PM
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What Myrta was able to get across to me was that I shouldn't try to save my M because I never had one to save to begin with. It is time for G and I to start over. She took away from Stan-ley exactly what G took away from me. I think I needed to mourn that. Okay its buried and finished. Let's see what the future can hold for gemela and me based on Dr. Harley's principles.

BigK has given me the courage to try that by his example. He had some of the same "requirements" that I have. Only he was willing to wait to acheive them and it apparently worked.

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