But in the same respect, would you be ok going through the rest of your life wondering what it would have been like if you'd stayed?

I'm not trying to convince you to stay and god knows I'm no relationship expert. I was just giving you a perspective that you won't see much here since most posters have been the victim of a cheating spouse. Have you gone to MC?

No we haven't been to MC I haven't been able to get him to agree to going. I am seeking out IC. I am still trying to work it out but at the same time I don't feel very enthusiastic about it. I have a lot of anger and resentment built up toward him and I need to do something to feel better. I am so drained.

IC is a good idea. You should still work on MC because it doesn't seem like either of you can articulate your true feelings to eachother very well.
In regards to being "so drained"
Don't forget just how much you've gone through in a short time. Kids are tough, physically and mentally. Having a rocky relationship through that makes it much worse. Don't add to your stress by pressuring yourself to be "Superwoman" she doesn't exist. Niether does "Superman".
If he won't go to MC just keep working on you. My wife won't go either. I'm just trying to be the best I can be. Whatever happens after that happens. At least you will know you did what you could do for your family.
But keep in mind, you still don't know he even did anything, other than not respecting your opinion. It's not good, but it's not unforgivable.

Dear Almondeyes:

Your husband has an office wife. it is becoming a very usual phenomena and some men just don't know how to stop. They make the office wife more important than their real wives!. They share a lot more in common too.

It also bothers me that my DH talks about personal things with his Admin. And she is divorced and reasonably attractive.

You need to tell him to STOP sharing your personal life and stop talking about their personal lives as well. I wonder how much productivity there is in that workplace. I am a working woman and just do my work and not chat much with anybody. No one knows about my personal life. I treat the men at work politely but not too friendly or intimately.

He needs to understand that. If he doesn't, he is not respecting you and your marriage.
Before it becomes emotional cheating-which it already may be.

As a man , trust me this is bad!!!! if he really cared about you he wouldnt put you in this situation. there is no need to have any relationship outside of the home. its just bad news and that friendship can grow into something more.. if it doesnt stop now, you will deal with it all your life. be firm if he really LOVES you , i mean really in love with you he would stop. all though seeing these situations before if a guy is like this from the get go . he will never change. exept maybe if he loses you

Bottom line: We have a communication issue. If you click on my username you can read my other posts about my marriage. We have reached a point where we are seeking MC.