If anyone is still looking to understand why exposure works, consider this:

You can think of the Marriage World as "matter" and the Affair World as "anti-matter". Now, anyone who's read or watched any science fiction knows that matter and anti-matter simply cannot exist in the same space at the same time. If they do, total annihilation is the result.

WSs instinctively know this. That's why they work so very, very hard to keep the two worlds completely and utterly separate so that they never, ever touch.

But every time the BS takes a step - any step - that forces the two worlds to intersect even briefly, there's another big explosion and another part of the Affair World is busted down.

The more the BS can force those two worlds to collide, the sooner the fantasy will be destroyed. Don't be afraid of the noise and the dust and don't be afraid of the howls of protest from those trying to live in a world made of anti-matter.

Keep those worlds colliding!
Mulan

Good analogy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

Don't be afraid of the noise and the dust and don't be afraid of the howls of protest from those trying to live in a world made of anti-matter.


how do you do this? i am terrified to expose! just doing it without thinking it through is scary - i guess i need to know what to expect...

Exactly.

The first time I exposed to the OMW, all ****** broke loose.

He came at me physically.

Luckily I came away from the situation unharmed but with several death threats in the wind.

Thanks to snooping, I know it did a lot of damage to the affair but my WW still does not want to return to me.

Instead she is out there waiting on OM to leave his wife and contemplating OM#2.

I have an opportunity now for a second dose of exposure. Since (again thanks to snooping) I now have evidence that the affair was physical. I have been saying this all along but they have both denied it. The OMW still does not know this and hence the opportunity for a second exposure.

My WW had tried her best to convince me that exposing this information to the OMW will mean one of two things. Either the OMW will have her killed or the OMW will leave the OM and open the gates for my WW and OM to be together.

Scare tactics I know, but they worked.

I have yet to do the second exposure.

Ofcourse the OM says is I ever talk to the OMW again he will kill me.

The audacity of these people. I should be killing them.

His threats aren't my concern though but my WW strategy is weighing heavily on my mind.

Hoping that the mere fact that I have this information is enough to upset the fantasy land.

Hope this helps.

Do it! Nobody is killing anybody, and as for the "freeing up OM for your WW" ka-ka, blow that off. Do exactly what they are telling you not to do, and expose, expose, expose.

H*ll ALWAYS breaks loose when you expose.

I love the smell of exposure in the morning, smells like...
Victory!!!

JLG,

Exposure always results in the same thing. The WS and OP are really pi$$ed off. Angry threats always seem to follow. A WS is likely to say any or all of the following: "I was thinking about trying to work things out, but now you've blown your only chance." "How could you embarrass me like that?" "Well, now you've done it, we are so over." "I thought about staying for the sake of the kids, but I could never stay after what you've done." "That was the most disrespectful thing you've ever done!" Some of us even heard it all and more! But all of it is just WS babble...Blah, Blah, Blah....

Your first instinct is to refute what they are saying. Don't bother...Pearls before swine. Anything you say that makes any sense will fall on deaf ears.

Just know that exposure is the greatest asset in the BS's arsenal. Coupled with a brilliant Plan A, it might end the A. If not, Plan A puts you in a much better place so that you are ready by then for Plan B.

Dr Harley says over and over again on his radio show that seldom does Plan A cause an A to end in and of itself. When added to exposure, it can speed things along, but sometimes exposure can make the A bury deeper and become even more entrenched. But it also shines light into the darkness and might just be enough at times.

What can you expect? Expect to hear the most hateful, hurtful, disrespectful, awful things. You won't be disappointed in that regard.

Sorry if that wasn't what you wished to hear, but you do need to know what to expect.

Mark

how did you do the exposure to the OMW? Call her? Email her? What proof did you give her?

I'm in a similar situation, and am not sure the best way to proceed.

I'm with Mark on this one. My WH said that I was spewing SLANDER about him and it was DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER! What a crock!

I called the OW's parents' home and spoke directly with her mother. I emailed WH's HR department and informed them of the R. I never heard from either, but I did what was necessary. DO IT!!!