It seems like almost everyone knew about my husband's affair but me. I'm still friends with these people, mainly because they were instrumental in me staying with my husband and helping us work on our marriage after a friend revealed the affair. The friend that told me of the affair worked with my husband and his mistress at the part-time job my husband is no longer at. The mistress and my friend still work together. Tonight, I am going to a sales party (ex. Pampered Chef, etc) with my friend at the home of another person who worked at this place. I agreed to go knowing that the OW would not be there. The problem is, some of the other people there worked with my husband while he was having the affair and knew all about it. I am scared of how weird I am going to feel being around these people for the first time since the affair was revealed. My friend says they will probably not even give the situation a second thought and that it is all in my head. How could they not be thinking things like "How could she take him back?" or "Poor thing!" Is it all in my head, or is she wrong and people really will be thinking about it? What if someone asks me how my husband is doing? Do I just answer and go on with things or what?

You're so much stronger than you think, and you can't guage how others will act. You can determine how you will act though. I've been there, after my H's affair we had to go to a school-wide function with the OW and family possibly THERE... I drank a glass of champagne, put on my best clothes, make-up, perfume and walked in there with my head held HIGH! If anyone said anything I didn't know, plus I had a bit more of the bubbly while there... not that alcohol is the answer, mind you, but one sip before leaving isn't gonna hurt anything and may take the edge off. Look your best, smile a lot and hold your head up high. It will speak volumes!!!<P>You can do it!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Thank you so much Sheryl. You do not know how much I needed to hear that. I guess sometimes I do think too much about what other people will think, but that's just the way I've always been. If anyone asks how my husband and I are doing, I'll just tell them the truth. We are doing wonderfully!

You're welcome...<P>and try to have a good time on top of it!!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Oh, I will. It's a Tasteful Treasures party. Ever been to one? If not, look up their website. It can definately spice up a marriage.

I went and checked it out. Nope, that company particularly, but I have been to those kinds of parties before. I always buy a bottle of that passion fruit "emotion lotion"...<P>They can be fun, or really embarrassing. The last one I went to had a cake in the shape of a penis. Cracked me up. How could you cut into that thing??? hahahahahaha<P>Have fun!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

My friend is actually helping the host make that very cake tonight, and after what I've been through in the past year, I would have no problem cutting the cake! LOL.

Sheryl, e-mail me anytime. You sound like a trip. bamafan74@prodigy.net

I'd be happy too...<P>But I want to make sure you realize that I was also the betrayer, I've had an affair which led me here to MB. I don't want to do anything that would hurt you more than you've been hurt already. <P>I'm one of the dubious holders of the betrayed/betrayer titles...<P>Let me know!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

If I can forgive my husband, I can forgive anyone for having an affair. Maybe talking to you will help me have a better understanding of what my husband did. We've all made mistakes in our lives, some worse than others. We are all God's children and He loves all of us and wants us to love each other. Feel free to e-mail me, the past is the past and I believe you are truly sorry for what you did.

hurtone,<P>You should go, determined to have a good time, whether the OW shows up or not!! You have no reason to be ashamed. Walk in there KNOWING you're "lookin' good", let your friendly, outgoing personality shine. <P>Those that know about the affair aren't going to be thinking "how could she?" They will be thinking "How could he? How could he have been SO foolish to risk losing that?"<P>Talk openly about your happiness, your closeness, your plans for the future without mentioning past problems. If the affair is mentioned, (which it probably won't be), just pass it off as "Well, I guess we all make crazy mistakes. My H sure regrets his." And drop it. <P>And have a great time!!!!!!!!

Just wanted to let you all know, I went and had a pretty good time. Luckily, only the two people I mentioned earlier were the only ones there that knew anything (I think). The girl I went with sat beside me the whole time and the other girl didn't hardly say a word to me the whole night. That's okay, we were never that close anyway. I did talk about my husband alot and about the fact that we will be starting a family next summer and buying a house soon. It was kind of an easy topic to bring up considering the friend that was there is seven months pregnant. I actually got to feel a baby kick for the first time tonight! It was amazing! It also made me realize how bad I want to have a baby, HIS baby. So, thanks to all of you who encouraged me to go. My husband and my friend's husband are out of town this weekend taking a Firefighter class, so it was good to get out.