My husband and i moved to Oklahoma about a year ago. In October i decided i could not be married anymore and told him a wanted a divorce. I moved out and moved back with my parents. While i was living with my parents i met someone. We have engaged sexually and my soon to be ex has found out and says i have commited adultery. I was wondering since i did move out and say i did not want to be married anymore does that still constitute as adultery? I had a friend who lived in germany and his wife left him and went back to California and had sex with another man, when he went to a lawyer and told him about the situation, he said there was nothing he could do because she told him she did not want to be married and had left..I'm just looking for some answers. Thank you!

Was a Justified? single choice

Did i commit Adultery? (100%, 9 Votes)

Was i ok to do what i did? (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Votes: 9 Voting on this poll ends: 01/15/08 02:56 PM

Uhhh, that would be a YES. You need a poll to tell you this?

If you want to have sex with someone other than your husband, get a divorce FIRST!

Just because you don't WANT to be married anymore, it doesn't mean that you aren't. You read the fine print, right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Duh!!!!!!!!

Are you serious that you can't figure that one out for yourself???

Definition of Adultery

"Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse."

So, yes, you committed adultery. You were/are still married.

The reason that the lawyer in California said what he did is that California, like many other states in this country, is a no-fault state. That means there doesn't have to be a "fault" for the divorce to happen. Only a few states still have "alienation of affection" laws on the books. What this means is the betrayed spouse can sue the adultery partner for "stealing" their spouse's affections.

What kind of answers were you looking for? An "OK" for your affair? Approval of your adultery because you told your BH that you didn't want to be married any more?

If you didn't want to be married any more, then you should have divorced him before you started sleeping with someone else. Then, you would only be fornicating.

Yes, you commited adultrey. Why do you even need to ask?

Well ain't this just a fistfull of stupid.

short answer - yes.

I notice she hasn't posted again. Maybe she didn't like the answers.

yep, you committed adurtry and if you divorce, then remarry, you are still committing adultry against the first husband as long as he is living

I take it the answers aren't going your way on this.

Add one to the "yes" column and come back to make your case.

Cmon folks, you have to admit that adultery has become meaningless these days and so it is possible that not everyone understands what it is.

Apparently OklahomaLady doesn't understand what it is.

I think this one was a 'fly-by'. Of course she would know what the word meant. Sheesh.

Are you sure?

Is talking to men at work adultery?

How about on message boards like this one?

How about with the various messengers?

What if a seemingly honest conversation is viewed by her husband as adultery?

See, it isn't as cut and dry as it seems but since we don't exactly condemn adultery these days how would there be an understanding of what it is?

Simple. Open a dictionary.

One thing she has not made clear is whether she has at least filed for divorce. She refers to H as soon to be XH.

adultery

Main Entry:
adul·tery Listen to the pronunciation of adultery
Pronunciation:
\&#601;-&#712;d&#601;l-t(&#601;-)r&#275;\
Function:
noun
Inflected Form(s):
plural adul·ter·ies
Etymology:
Middle English, alteration of avoutrie, from Anglo-French avulterie, from Latin adulterium, from adulter adulterer, back-formation from adulterare
Date:
15th century

: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband; also : an act of adultery

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/adultery


Not really that informative is it? It doesn't really talk about flirting.

I'd have to look it up but I don't think Yahoo Messenger existed in the 15th century. Maybe the definition needs to be updated. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Garak,

I prefer these definitions, though the one you posted works for this case. But these have to do with what is an affair rather than the strict sense of the word adultery.

What Is An Affair

Emotional Affairs

Not Just Friends

The best thing that could happen would be for the original poster to engage in conversation with those who have responded. Any differing opinions will get sorted out with time, but by your posted definition of adultery, she has in fact committed adultery. She has admitted to having sex with someone else while still married to her husband.

And I would also point out that seldom do things shake out all nice an tidy in the way she states that she told her husband she didn't want to be married, moved out, filed for divorce and then met someone. Typically, though admittedly not every time, it is the other way around and the affair is merely the fuel for the unwillingness to remain married.

And just so you know, the word hasn't lost it's meaning on this website.

Mark

Which word has lost it's meaning? Adultery? That word has lost it's meaning in most western nations. Adultery means nothing when No Fault Divorce is the law of the land.

Garak,

You seem to have a lot to post about. I'm sure many are interested.

Instead of hijacking other posters threads, why not start your very own?

Really, this thread is over. She asked a question and everyone answered the same. What else is left to tell her?

Maybe so but it means alot to the person that is cheated on.