GOOD JOB, girl!!!!!!!!!!1

In case you can't see it from where you are, this whole thing is going stunningly well.

Really, I hope so he's still here on couch watching a movie with son. Its 9:30 PM. I hope he falls asleep so OW can flip her lid!

I'm not sure if we'll see him tomorrow but for sure on Sunday....More to come....

Is it just me or is this starting to sound like Tst, and SMB, in that for the last month Tst just 'hung around' ALL THE TIME.......

Methinks all is not wonderful in paradise

Ok LIl help me on the abbreviations Imz lost!

I just had to gloat a bit about being right. I wrote this to Believer back in 12/05:


Notice the assurance in the word "when".

Well, I'm not going to go very far out on a limb here to say, before long your WH is going to be the one begging you to take him back, and WHEN he does, you will have the opportunity to choose whether you even want him.

Now I think your answer will be yes, but by that point the dynamic shifts and you are the one with all the power.

It's going to be a far cry from the helpless and desperate woman who started this thread. Already I don't even recognize her any more. You've come a long way.

OMG OMG OMG you guys ok listen to this.....

So he just left. Its 10:30. I walk him to door and send son off to brush his teeth. My H reaches out and HUGS ME!!!! :crosseyedcrazy: HOLY COW!

We have had almost no contact and no physical contact for 5 1/2 months. He didn't want to let go. He held on to me. I say wow your hug feels really good and I try to pull away but he's holding me. So I finally he pulls away and I flirt with him and he says you are you soliciting me? I say well I'm sure you can understand that I'm by my self and you are not. He says how do you know that? I say I don't.(I'm wondering if he's with her?) I smile and say hey you know where I live. He says yes I do.
Then he says I'm going to be around more. I say great. He says, that's what my son wants right?(I think he was feeling my answer out) I say well no it's what we all want but it needs to be what you want. So we smile at each other and I close the door.

OMG OMG OMG. I still have NO expectations, but it sure felt good to have my H hold me just for a moment.

I don't know whats going on in affair town but I have been thinking for a few days its not all good.
Your a stunning woman, have a lovely spirit and you are doing a marvelous plan A.

Maybe its time to look a bit at some of the raising the bar type threads.
Should he come back before you go into plan B, do you know what you need to do?

BTW, what abbreviations are you after?

No I don't know what to do if he comes back before Plan B.

I need abbrv. for Tst, and SMB

Tst is a FWH here on MB and SMB is his wife.

As long as you don't get discouraged if he blows hot and cold, by all means revel in your victory. That was one hug not wasted on an evil usurper, and a great interaction besides!

If he wants to come back before Plan B, you simply pull out your list of boundaries and ask if he's ready for them. If he's not, then you have your answer. If he is, then stand back and watch him work. His actions will tell you if he's ready.

Ok so I expect him to blow hot and cold. I will keep reminding myself of this and if i don't ya'll slap me!

I do view it a s victory. I'm still shocked. Better solidify those boundaries and conditions today just in case I should be so lucky but not expecting it. Well let's see how today goes.....

So the seeds you planted in the garden are starting to sprout. Continue what you are doing, and don't have any expectations.

And wow Neak - you DID predict exactly what happened.

Ok guys back for the update. We had some converating, I asked a few questions don't know if I should have or not. I usually don't talk about the relationship but it kinda went that way. Is questioning ok? Below is the conversation.

So he met the kids and I for lunch at a sandwich shop and we will see him again tomorrow.

The kiddies left in DD17 car and we talk for few about plans for tomorrow.

So we hug again and get ready to part and just before I get in the car H says you know there's nothing wrong with you physically that wasn't the reason.

I say I know.

He says I just have a lot to work through in myself. :twobyfour:

I say oh, so is this a you thing, not that I was perfect because I wasn't.

He says I have a lot of guilt on what I've done, the tears I've caused and the people I've hurt. Its a lot to deal with.

I then say well I don't hold anything against you.

He says how can you? And how can you do this? I know its hard for you.

I give this preemptive of Plan B statement:I agree and say yes it is hard, I am sharing you and its painful, but I will let you know when I can't do it anymore because I can't do this forever. He says ok.

I say, True it is hard for me but that's what love does, it doesn't hold guilt on you. I say maybe this needed to happen. I say sometimes the world seems like it can make you so much happier and it isn't until we're with out our family that we see its our family that makes us happy.

He says well I don't want to say that this was necessary but I see what your saying.

I then ask(maybe I shouldn't have but I needed to know)Can I ask you a question? He pauses a long time and I say are you still with OW?

He doesn't answer.

I say okay so that's my answer and I sweetly smile. He then says (here's the kicker guys) if you need to slow down let me know otherwise lets just do this for now.

Well there you have it folks we gots hot and we gots cold! I kinda kicked myself for asking but I had to know. I wonder if the old saying what you don't know won't hurt should have applied to this.

Can I just say that I can't stand that tramp, okay thanks I needed that.


Feedback suggestions anyone, candy, popcorn , peanuts....oh sorry wrong sport. LOL Ok gotta laugh so it can rub off the minor sting......

Well of to salsa class back in a few hours.....

Why does he not love you? I mean, he loves you so little he is fiddling with another woman.

How can you stand a man, you are married to, and had kids with, NOT loving you?

You cant stand the tramp, you mean,,,,your trampy husband??? **edit**

Hmmmmm. Mr. Cakeater himself................

Always assume that he is STILL with the OW. Don't ask. And don't do relationship talk.

By the way, be sure to read the goddess thread so you can brush up on all the stuff there.

My suggestion is to go to your dance class and have lots of fun. And be sure to go out with friends and stay busy. Keep Plan A'ing, but might be time not to be so available.

1. He does not love you
2. He does not respect you
3. He does not value you
4. He has not loved you for quite some time.
5. He does not care for you
6. He does not even treat you as well as a good friend
7. He is not honest with you
8. He is filthy
9. He is selfish wanting you and the other woman
10. He could care less about you

This man would not treat a DOG as badly as he is treating YOU. Do you see it yet?

YOU are treated worse than any DOG!