Thank you Donal, you are absolutely right, I know that he is probably thinking this way. I believe he is not trying to hide it anymore. I know it comes down to eating or smoking for him, and he chooses to smoke. He is very thin, thinner than ever before. We do go to counseling, in fact we went yesterday. Earlier in the day I did discuss with my husband how his smoking isn't helping our marriage, and it is kinda putting a wedge between us...just gently trying to express my feelings without trying to cause an argument. It was discussed during our counseling and he did agree he needs to quit. But will he? It did come out he is smoking more than before. In fact he is also doing it while he is driving a company vehicle, which is against the rules. That really concerns me. I feel like he doesn't even care that he could get in trouble, and his decision to do it in the company vehicle could affect the whole family if he loses his job.

It's not like I'm thinking angrily during the day "Ugh, if he comes home smelling like a cigarette today, I'm just not going to have sex with him." Though the thought has crossed my mind. But it's more like he walks in starts talking to me and I move and think "yuck". Its more like an automatic twist in my stomach when I smell it, and then no desire to be alone with him or close to him. Like a skunk just walked in the house, you just don't want to be close to the thing.

Biggest mistake people make is marrying someone thinking that they can change them......many a D have been had in this thinking.

Smoking is a horrible addictive habit. If you have never smoked you don't know.

Atruheart

I am a smoker, my spouse is not. My spouse tells me all the time (as well as my kids) that they wish i would quit for my health.

In the 25 years i have been with my H has has never told me that i stink, that would really hurt my feelings even though i know it is the truth, i think i stink as well.

I watched both of my parents (and my husbands mother) suffer and pass away from lung diseases, i know how expensive they are, i know how bad they are for me, i know all of this but i have never been able to go more than a couple of days without a cigarette.

I tell my kids and their freinds to NEVER start because it is the hardest thing to quit.

Ever heard of Dave Ramsey? He's a financial 'expert'. He says the single stupidest financial mistake you can make is to start smoking.

Well, make that sucking on burning sticks of paper and carcinogens.