Well I hope ill find some sort of resolution or peace of mind from this. Im about to give a lot of info before i get to what happened, but im hoping it will put things into perspective. Im not married but I have been dating my bf for 3yrs. I am in my mid- twenties and he is in his late thirties. I am so madly in love with this man and i believe he feels the same way about me. However, i think my fear of losing this great guy has created some paranoia and jealousy within. We live in a town full of beautiful girls and he is friends with many of them due to his out-going/social nature. Although, I may have been jealous of any time spent with these girls ive never TRUELY suspected anything... Afterall, everyone has always said he is constantly talking about me and how lucky he is. So a few days ago I was being nosey and went on his computer and found that he has been visiting a singles website. The profile was created before we were dating but i found that he still visits it from time to time. I was so hurt because this was my biggest fear come true and yet so unexpected. A few of the messages read, "how come the good ones are always so far away" and comments of how beautiful they are and so on. Here is the twist, I confronted him and he said it was just silly conversation. The thing is that it was an arabic singles website and as he is arabic i have never know him to be attracted to or date any arabic women. He went on to say "he never cheated" "he would never hurt me" "he can be trusted" and" that it was hard to explain but thats just the way they talk (people of his culture). My gut tells me to trust his word as i have never known him to be dishonest but the rational side of me tells otherwise. He did make a point that if he wanted to cheat he would have no trouble with one of the many girls close to home and second why would he choose an arabic site instead of any other. It just doesnt makes sense! Any advice or insight as to why this may have happened?

Did you ask him this, or did HE ask YOU this?

How are you supposed to know? This is an answer you should get from him.

That was his response or "proof" if you will that it was nothing but silly conversation. His point was that if he wanted to meet other women he could have visited any number of other websites and that knowing that hes not attracted to arabic women this should lead me to believe him. He said that he created the profil long before we were dating for the purpose of meeting people from his culture. And although there were some conversations with other men on the site the majority of them were with women. The convo was not at all sexual (at least the ones i read werent) but it wasnt exactly innocent either... commenting on their beauty and what not. I responded by saying i dont get it! if you are not attracted to them then what was the point of the conversation. He says its hard to explain but its how "they" (arabs) talk. Upon confronting him he did delete the profile stating that it meant nothing and it wasnt worth losing me over. He didnt seem nervous or defensive at all during the confrotation which leads me to believe it wasnt what it seemed but it still doesnt make much sense. what was his payoff?

Doesn't this sound ridiculous to you?



It does to me.

It does sound ridiculous and i know that in my heart or hearts but what do I do? Its the only explanation he is offering me and I know it was just conversation. The majority of the messages i read the girls lived in different states and even out of the country. We spend enough time together for me to know he never made any trips.. but even if it was just conversation there must be a reason for it... Do you have any advice? We are very close and eachothers best friend... I would have never suspected this. I dont believe he has ever cheated... but then why did he need to do this?

Here's the only advice I can give you: ask him to delete his single's-club membership and stop the cuddly conversations with the chicks online.

If he says no, or balks and hems and haws and stalls and lies, dump his sorry butt and find someone of quality.