I wouldn't do anything, if you're wanting her back. Let her falter. Let her life be bad. Let it suck!

And just keep being nice Mr. Rusty. Let her start missing you from afar.

Would plan B be the best way to do that? lol

Seriously, I am getting to the point where I do not like the person WW has become at all. I am not really caring if she comes home or not for myself, only wanting it for the kids at this point.

WW also has this thing in her head that since she moved out from with me that we are seperated and that means that it would be inappropriate for us to do anything at all(she even gets upset the times I have flirted with her) and I think she thinks she is free and clear to date because she is seperated.

When I was there yesterday I found out that WW has been buying nice underwear the past couple of days. I noticed because I seen that she was wearing a thong yesterday when she was bending over.

Women, do you buy stuff like that for yourself or only when you plan on somebody seeing it?

I asked her about it because I thought it shows that she is planning something. She has plans on somebody seeing her that way.

Oh well, got to go back to work now. I will read up when I get home this evening.

Rusty, I would buy nice lingerie for myself - even if no one will see it. If I don't like it, I don't wanna wear it. It's a self-care thing. I don't feel as pretty in industrial lingerie. It's a girl thing.

Now, I can't tell you why SHE bought fancy underwear....but I know I do buy pretty things for myself.

She's foggy, rusty. You are her HUSBAND. Until the ink is dry on divorce papers, a husband and a wife can (and SHOULD!) be flirting, winking, making out, etc.


I do buy myself nice lingerie, like cinderella, so I'm not sure that what you were thinking is necessarily the case. Did you ask her about the new underwear?

I did. It was stuff she never wanted before. She said she hated the way it felt. It was just odd. She hated it before and now she likes it because she was tired of getting wedgies? I dont know. I will just stay a distant plan A for now.

Thanks for talking some sense into me guys. I just have a gut feeling something is going on and I dont know what.


P.S. I guess the biggest thing is that the timing coincided with a new number she has started texting a lot.

Don't ignore your gut. If it smells fishy, it probably is. If I hadn't listened to my WS so much and listened to my gut more, I think that the affair would have died a lot quicker or possibly been avoided altogether. Looking back, my gut was totally accurate. My heart wanted to believe the lies but my gut knew something was really wrong.

There are 2 new numbers she has been texting alot. One of them they have sent pictures back and forth a couple times yesterday and overnight the 9/10 she texted that number back and forth a couple hundred times. Every 2-3 minutes all night long.

You can do a reverse phone lookup and pay a small fee if it is unlisted (less than $5) if you need a name. There is also cell phone sim card readers that you can buy to read the texts and see her entire contact list. You need this info so you can do a proper exposure. Believe me, exposure works!! If she is still at the house you can also put a webwatcher program on the computer. You already know that she has an OM. You need to know who it is.

She moved out the day her A started. He phone does not have a sim card and she never lets it leave her person.

I am not going to jump the gun here because it may be a girl she is texting. I just have a feeling something is up. Might not be a OM again. Or it might just be because she is so different from who she used to be. IDK.

A few weeks ago I jumped the gun and there was nothing to it, dont want to do that here now.

As for the reverse phone lookup, that costs a ton and I have had better luck using one of my secret cell phones to call and ask about a craigslist ad and pretend it was a wrong number. lol

Smart thinking, rusty.

As long as I am smart about it and vary stuff good maybe she won't catch on.

Talking to her today about this and she was saying she isnt my W right now because we are seperated and what she does is none of my business. blah blah blah.

Trying to tell me she is completely over OM because of what an [censored] he is but she still works there and sees him every so often.

Why is she lying to herself? I dont even try to educate the stupid wayward any more since I found out that doesnt work.

This is turning out to be a slow long ride.

Yup, she's foggy. Not your wife? Um..yeah you are?

Working together still. Whoa. I missed that somewhere. That is HARD. You're doing good, I think.

So rusty - after your w told you/you found out, how long did it take for you to talk to her again? I confessed to my H on Sunday night and I haven't heard from him since. I'm trying to be patient and it's very hard...

My WW came home a couple hours late for work on Nov 10th. Said she took a friend home and that the friend was locked out of her apartment. She got into bed and I put my hand on her and she didnt want me to touch her. That was weird. I got up and left for work and WW left about an hour later and went to her moms. Came home about 5:30 and said she needed to talk. I a=said OK and out of the blue she said I want a divorce. I did the usual crappy stuff, cry beg plead. She left and never came back. Even abandoned her clothes and all at that house. I didnt know there was an OM but I felt a weird feeling. Somehow I knew that someone had slipped in between us. There was a third party that became a wedge. I didnt know if it was male, female, I had no idea. She had a new friend that had been causing problems for about 3 weeks.

I talked to her the next day and then met her the next day at work with the girls. She was supposidly staying with a friend in between work days so she didnt have to make the drive. I called her when we got there and waiting on her. She was all the way in town and I know that her friend didnt live there. She was leaving OM's house and I confronted her and she confessed. I talked to her every day whenever she would talk to me.

I never stopped talking to her because of that.

I thought it was strange how I could feel that it was something in between us and all the other tells.

WW is looking for another job right now because it is an hour drive with where she lives now.

What happens to make them start realising what they done and start having any type of desires for the BH again? When the fog lifts and as long as they havent moved on to another OM?

Then my H is a bit of an anomoly, perhaps. He hasn't spoken a word to me since I left his (our) house on Sunday.

IMHO, which may not mean much, I haven't been on MB long, as long as she has contact with the OM, even "occasionaly," you're in for a long road. Contact between the two of them is toxic to your marriage. While he's an option for her she wont see that you are the only right choice. The real choice.

Yeah, I know that as long as they both work there then I dont stand a chance. Maybe later on.


Is it wrong to wish plan B would hurry up and get here just so you could better remove yourself from the wayward? lol

Well, I AM the wayward and seeing as though my H hasn't talked to me in 3 days I would say that he's doing Plan B, he just isn't aware of it.

I have them about 70% of the time. Seem to be a bit of a burdon on WW's single life plus when she wants to work OT.

But when they are there I go see them every day and if I miss then they call me begging to come home.

Honestly, you need to stop being her baby-sitter while she screws around on you and at least file for legal separation. Your WW is the type that needs to be in a relationship, so she'll just bounce around from one OM to the next. Get custody of your kids, get CS, and expose her to the consequences of her actions. That's the ONLY way she MIGHT come back. Right now she has no respect for you, and you aren't doing anything to garner any respect.

intellius is $4.99 for a reverse cell phone lookup. No way she is texting a girl all night. Not buying it. Not trying to be mean. I wanted to believe the best of my WS for the last two years. Did a lot more harm than good by believing the lies. Don't ignore your gut!