LOL Now we have folks calling apple cobbler, apple coddler, and folks calling coddlers, cobblers!

I agree that our culture has a huge double standard where women are concerned.

But, on this forum, no way.

Marsh,

Triple, No Quadruple, No Quadruple Dog standard!

I agree with you, EX. It is maddening. Studies show female on male domestic violence is more prevalent. See many men's shelters?
Women, overwhelmingly are the predominant perpetrators in abuse and even murder of kids and the elderly, according to studies.
Women pedophiles are often given probation or treatment whereas a man doing the same thing is jailed.
Read that Michelle Langley second e-book for an education. And, check out that site, Shrink4men.

Can I be greedy and get a coddle, or would it be a cuddle, with my apple cobbler?

Get it ala mode.

Works for me.

Unfortunately, many women have been taught that there is empowerment through victimhood, so in order to gain that power, they have to demonize MEN. Many women have an entitlement attitude that leads them to believe they are entitled to an affair; that they are somehow free to abuse their husbands and their children and no one will say anything about it. And men put up with it!!

The WW's come here and are SHOCKED to discover that they the pity parade doesn't wash HERE. The posters here see right through it and hand them their asses. I agree that there is a double standard and that the mistreatment of men is largely ignored, while every grievance, real or imagined, towards women is magnified.

That being said, you MEN contribute to this sad state of affairs by acting like doormats. How many times have we seen men come on this forum who abandoned their families just because some selfish, entitled wayward wife told him to get out so she could carry on her affair? As long as you MEN act like DOORMATS, you will continue to be treated as such. And you have to take some PERSONAL responsibility for CONTRIBUTING TO YOUR OWN DEMISE. If you would stop lying down, you might not get walked over so badly!

I get real tired of having to tell men how to act like men around here. I am going to start charging you men commission for my work.

Zelmo,

Got on the site asap, couldn't take it! Lump in my throat. One part hit home way too hard. My wife does not reciprocate at all and she knows it, but still doesn't! Very hard for me the last year or so. I seemed to be the guy who's put up with it for so long, but she's losing me and I can see it, but she does nothing and of course it will be my fault.

BR,

I'll have a lode of coddler and ice dream!

Mel,

I agree! I'm glad I'm a... shoot you got me! I could really use your help. I know you've read some of my stuff, but I'm at a loss, when she thinks she's working on it or thinks that the last 13 years of neglect can be set aside and my trust of her should be 100% right now, and if she meets my EN for 3 weeks, that she deserves some sort of cookie, holiday and a vacation from meeting them.

themud, you know what? My H had that same entitled, selfish attitude the first few years of our marriage. I got sick of it and explained to him I was not interested in SETTLING anymore so I was moving on. I said if this all you have to offer, then I am not buying. And dang! Things improved real quick!! In my marriage, when I raised the bar, he rose to the new standard. if you settle for less, you will probably get it.

For some reason, my H was under the impression that all he had to do was SHOW UP and his special presence would keep me interested. I have disabused him of that notion. And when he lovebusts me, I let him know right away that his behavior is a TURN OFF.

Check out Marc Rudov's stuff on his site or Paul Elam's, the mud, as well.
That Shrink4 men site has been a Godsend for me.

themud, if she is trying to change her habits, it would be a good idea to give her a HERO COOKIE as an encouragment. you have to start somewhere!

Hey does anyone think that Bother is Dude....

Is that you Dude?

If you accept nothing, you will likely get nothing.


I don't know if I want any ice dream....brrrrrrrrrr :teef:

nope, but my first thought was it was Zelmo........

not2fun

bother,

""The MB rhetoric says "just hang in there, man! With a cheery wink and pat on the back. But that's not the advice women are given.""

Cheery wink and pat on the back??

If you really knew what you were talking about and had more experience on this board, maybe you wouldn't be so trite.

""My WW had an EA and I did great Plan A""....""she was the one who was neglectful of my EN's""...""now back to the same point as whole marriage where I am falling over myself trying to meet EN's and FWW gives nothing back, she is reverting to neglect,""....""Because then I wouldn't give and give and get nothing in return except a drib or drab here and there.""...""a contempt-deserving woman who takes and takes and takes and gives nothing in return""

I seem to detect a pattern of, gosh, I don't know, WHINING?? Poor, poor, pityful me?

Your attitude MUST be coming through loud and clear to your wife. You did a great Plan A?? You are giving and giving and falling all over meeting her ENs, yet you see your wife as a CONTEMPT-DESERVING WOMAN WHO TAKES....etc?

My point is, you are so intense on this point that what you see as a Plan A, to her may look desperate or needy or insincere or something different than how you perceive yourself.

Maybe you are expecting too much too soon.

But the way you speak about her makes me wonder why you BOTHER...HMMmmmmm

kirk

Kirk rocks.

Yeah, but DUDE is MIA......