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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
As long as you keep those thoughts/visions confined to rants here on MB.  The thoughts about OW will fade. Trust me-- BTDT. I was obsessed with thinking about OW (x2) for a long, long time. Now, they rarely cross my mind but are easily banished quickly. In fact, my DH and I actually had a conversation about them the other night. As in I asked him if he still believes they were good people. He was like, What??!??!! I reminded him of how he would defend them when we first started recovery. He was appalled that he ever said that (he was still foggy). Now he says of course they were, just as much as he was. The cool thing is that that conversation wasn't hurtful or painful -- just kind of sad. The pain and obsession does subside with recovery.
Last edited by princessmeggy; 05/06/10 04:16 PM.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686 |
And that's how you know they've truly changed. When they become disgusted with themselves.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 59
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 59 |
It is so strange. I know that thinking about her makes me miserable, that I will get anxiety, sadness, anger...but I still do it. I read Mark's thread today about memories and emotions and I'm going to start working on that.
I know it is crazy, but some days I just want to get even with FWH...go out and have my own A just to put him in my shoes. YUCK. It is ridiculous, but some days it hurts so much. Thank God for my children that keep me grounded.
I always appreciate the advice and reassurance.
ME: BS 31y/o H: WS 35y/o DS: 3y/o DD: 1y/o Married: 10 years OW: co-worker D-DAY 9/11/08 text messages EA 2ND D-DAY 5/16/09 Walked out together OFFICIAL D-DAY 12/1/09 (confession) (EA began 9/08 PA 12/08. PA ended 4/09 but EA continued) NC letter 1/10 FINAL D-DAY 3/31/10 (continued phone calls and emails) NC Email 4/10 Recovery 4/12/2010 Still his sunshine = ) http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/u...904#Post2347904
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