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The Parable of the Seeds

or why won't waywards listen?

A Marriage Building farmers point of view

Originally Posted by Jesus
3 A farmer went out to plant some seeds. 4 As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. 5 Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. 6 But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn�t have deep roots, they died. 7 Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. 8 Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted!
....-....
�19 The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message about the Kingdom and don�t understand it. Then the evil one comes and snatches away the seed that was planted in their hearts. 20 The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. 21 But since they don�t have deep roots, they don�t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God�s word. 22 The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God�s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced. 23 The seed that fell on good soil represents those who truly hear and understand God�s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!�

So what has this to do with anything?

Time and time again I have seen waywards come and waywards go. Some come for a few days, some stick it out for a couple of weeks and some stay, learn and apply the MB principles to their marriages. So what makes some 'wither and die', and some become 'fruitful'?

The sower (MB vets and others) sow the word ( the MB 'way') It was given to them, and they have a deep desire to broadcast it ( real farming term for seed sowing BTW. I should know � I was a farmer for a long time smile )

The seeds falling on the road represent those who hear the word but dismiss it straight away.
Many times a wayward will come to MB, post a handful of times, and leave in a huff, professing that all we speak is gibberish and that we're hating on them. Alternatively they come up with reasons as to why MB doesn't apply to their individual circumstance. Either they are too 'special' and 'unique', or we just don't understand them. All we can see is another person speaking from the wayward script, and any possible variation to the norm is not at all an impediment to applying MB to them.

Very rarely, old farm pathways are returned to pasture, usually due to paddocks being enlarged, shrunk, occasionally some just become obsolete. The soil under those paths is hard, and needs a lot of work to break up and become tillerable. The fertility of the soil is usually poor and the grass growth is patchy for many years.
'Road' waywards are hard work. They practically need a crowbar to penetrate their thick skulls, and the rewards are variable. A lot of work with poor and often ineffective return

The birds are the toxic friends and affair supporters, who steal away any common sense from the wayward and encourage then to do what makes them happy, or to follow their hearts.
The most common way farmers prevent birds from stealing seed is by coating the seed in a brightly coloured low grade poison. Bitter to the birds taste, but not normally fatal.

The seeds falling on the rocks represent those who hear the word, but only accept it shallowly and reject it as soon as it causes them hardship
These people want to cherry pick the programme. �I'll use Radical Honesty except for the bit where I tell my spouse about my affair�, �I'll POJA � but on my terms�, � I want my spouse to stop LBing me and fill my EN's, but I want them to love me as I am�, and their rocks are the justification they use for their infidelity.

During the hottest part of summer, you can see paddocks with brown spots in them. While it could be insect infestation, it is often a large rock just under the surface. As the rock heats up, the shallow soil about it dries up and the plants die due to the lack of moisture. To rectify the situation the farmer needs to remove the rock before planting. Sure the farmer could bury it deeper or even water more, but the problem wont go away, the damage will still be done, just slower, and an awful lot of work will just go to waste.
'Rock' waywards need to have the rocks in their live dug up and removed,. They need to understand MB is an all or nothing programme. You only get out what you put in and if your not willing to commit to NC and UA,and take responsibility for 50% of the marriage AND 100% in the decision to have an affair, then kiss the marriage good bye, and enjoy that justification on those long lonely nights.

The seeds falling on thorns represent those who hear the word, and take it to heart, but allow life concerns, to choke it.
'Thorn' waywards start with a roar and a bang. Their day is structured around the MB programme, they POJA the shopping, they want 15+ hours of UA, they mentally check off the EN's and LB's at the end of the day.
Then, weeds grow. Work got a bit busy so UA was down for a few weeks but its ok, its just for now. Then the kids got sick, and the bills got bigger, and she took up a new hobby he wasn't really all that fussed on, and he wanted to hang out with 'the boys' after work and then that cute neighbour/associate/assistant was so REALLY helpful, MB takes up too much time and is too much like hard work, and suddenly they're leading 2 separate lives again and as a wise man said not so long ago �When we stop working on the marriage, we are already really just an affair looking for an affair partner.�

Every spring, regardless of how much spraying is done the previous spring, thistles and weeds spring up. Some from roots that just died down rather than dying, some from seeds from weeds that had a chance to flower before being sprayed, some bought in by from the outside by birds and rodents.
Thorn waywards have a chance. If lucky, they'll notice this happening and quickly get back on track, but some never see the thorns until they're being smothered, and some not even then. If the job is got onto quickly, it is just a case of diligent application of the required spray mixture. Some deep weeds however need cutting down or even grubbing up to remove. There's an old saying that goes: �one years seeding is 7 years weeding� I don't know how true this is but judging from some farms I have been on, the weeds have been left to seed year after year, infesting good productive pasture to the point where all that is left to do is use the strongest herbicide available and resow the grass � starting again from scratch.

The seeds falling on good soil represents those who hear the word, and truly understand it, causing it to bear fruit. This is pretty self explanatory smile
Pathways have been ploughed and fertiliser applied; rocks removed and weeds have been sprayed. All that is required from this point is maintainance stone picking and weed spraying as required for a lush, productive, green and glorious paddock. The kind of paddock that coined the idiom �the grass is greener on the other side�. Personally I have always subscripted to the philosophy of �the grass is greener where it is watered� or cared for in this instance wink

In conclusion:
Unlike a farmer who has powerful tools like a tractor, rotary hoe, and a power tiller, MB has the vets armed with crow bars, shovels and weed spray. By carefully applying these in the form of carefully applied 2x4's, penetrating questions, and refusal to drink the wayward koolaid, the 'sowers' can (hopefully) turn unproductive, arid, stony hearts and minds into fertile, productive individuals who are not only wanting to repair and restore their marriages, but also take full responsibility for their actions with no excuses. Since there is no way to immediately discover what kind of ground is presenting, necessity dictates that the experienced sowers jump in with the big tools and try and break ground when the opportunity presents itself.

The newer farmers, full of enthusiasm occasionally jump in and start randomly broadcasting the seeds they have, however without making sure the ground work of digging up rocks, loosening the soil and killing the weeds is done first, well, they are simply wasting the seeds. Personally I suggest that they go through an apprenticeship of sorts, learning how to cultivate the fallow ground that is a wayward, and save those seeds for after the soil is worked up and rain is on the way.

Reading back through what I have written I can see how a lot of this could apply to those of us out in the field so to speak. It's not just waywards who don't listen......

Right, off to remove rocks smile


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Well done you!
clap


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Love your work Lil.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
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This is one of my favorite stories.
Applicable to us all.


Quote
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in... it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

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Thank you both. It's a topic (why we 2x4 waywards) that I have thought about off and on for months. I was reading the scripture over the weekend and thinking about some new WS's here and this was the result.



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lildoggie

Very well done.

And just as a comment:

Sometimes the seeds that are sown don't germinate right away. The wayward leaves in a huff. But the seeds are still there. When they are ready, the seed will still be there, ready to grow.

Maybe. We can hope.

Larry

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This was GREAT Lil and part of the reason I stay off of WS threads. I am not able to deal with that YET and I know my limitations. I do read them if they have been around for a while to see what others have said to them hoping that I will learn something some day, as I think of myself as a youngin just learning how to walk. laugh This was well worth the read. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
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DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

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Nice, Lil.
Stuff to think about.
Thanks.

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Very well done, Lil!


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Originally Posted by Mark1952
Very well done, Lil!
Huge ditto!

Thoughts in my head are unscrambling .... thank you!


M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA


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Love it! Thanks for sharing....


Married 16 years
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Lordy girl.....that was quite a sermon. I think you missed your calling!!!!

I'm proud of ya!!!!!!.... kiss

see what happens when you stick around long enough....

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Well done Lil!


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clap clap clap

Words of wisdom.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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2 pages of complements faint
Thank you everyone, you are very kind. Not, I woke up this morning and realised "OMG, I wrote a sermon" hope no one minds blush


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Well done!

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Originally Posted by lildoggie
Not, I woke up this morning and realised "OMG, I wrote a sermon" hope no one minds blush

rotflmao.......well then, I dub thee 'Sister Lil' from this day forward....... rotflmao

not2fun



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rotflmao

Except there already is a LilSis on MB. Thats the only reason why I don't drop the doggie bit of my user name. Annoying really because I prefer to be called Lil.

I could be abbess, but I don't think Flick would like the no SF that goes with it wink


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Quote
The newer farmers, full of enthusiasm occasionally jump in and start randomly broadcasting the seeds they have, however without making sure the ground work of digging up rocks, loosening the soil and killing the weeds is done first, well, they are simply wasting the seeds. Personally I suggest that they go through an apprenticeship of sorts, learning how to cultivate the fallow ground that is a wayward, and save those seeds for after the soil is worked up and rain is on the way.

Lil,
I guess this is why I so often lurk and do not often engage in giving advice. Sometimes, however, I am so struck by similarities between a BS and me or between a WH and my FWH that I do venture forth and share a bit of what I've learned. I step out in faith that the few seeds I try to sow will not be in vain.
GY


D-Day EA 11/29/08
D-Day PA 12/12/08

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faint

That was fantastic! Thank you!


Me(bw/fww) 39
recovering with amazing fwh/bh 36
DS 7
DS 4

His
EA Oct '07 - 7/2/08 (d-day)
NC 7/4/08

Hers
EA/RA 6/'09-3/'10
NC 3/17/10



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