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1. Were your parents married (to each other)? Yes 2. How long were your parents married? 51 years when my dad passed away 3. If your parent's marriage ended in divorce, please state why. N/A 4. How did your parent's attitudes about marriage effect you? It made me not to have one like theirs, they did not show love to each other, they actually seemed like they hated each other. 5. How did your parent's attitudes about divorce effect you? It made me think that I would divorce if I was not happy because I did not want to be like they were.
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1. Were your parents married (to each other)? Yes 2. How long were your parents married? 40+ yrs and counting 3. If your parent's marriage ended in divorce, please state why. N/A 4. How did your parent's attitudes about marriage effect you? Both my parents had hardships growing up so their attitude was basically that you do what you have to do to take care of your family and each other. They are both fairly traditional. My mom was a SAHM until the youngest went to school. So most of the domestic support and child rearing fell to her while my dad was the breadwinner. They have common moral beliefs but have different personalities. As a kid, they just seemed to make it work. I'm sure they each had complaints about the other and had rough spots but they did not put their problems on display and are willing to admit they were wrong. 5. How did your parent's attitudes about divorce effect you? Both my parents think marriage is a lifetime commitment but aren't against it in cases of abuse, adultery, and the like. We share the same views in that respect. I think they have soften over the years and would add a few valid reasons to divorce. I inherited the best and worst of both of them. H's parents are the complete opposite of mine.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Interesting stuff on this thread.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Joined: Oct 2000
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Interesting stuff on this thread.
I am blown away by the variety.
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Joined: Oct 2000
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Just some questions about your marriage attitudes as related to your parents.
For those who would be so kind as to respond, thank you!
1. Were your parents married (to each other)?
Yes
2. How long were your parents married?
39 years and counting
3. If your parent's marriage ended in divorce, please state why. n/a
4. How did your parent's attitudes about marriage effect you?
I grew up in a home with undiagnosed/untreated mental illness. The other parent enabled the behavior. When the mentally ill parent was doing fine, we were all doing fine. When the mentally ill parent was NOT fine, it was, bad. It was common for my parents to not speak to each other for 1-3 months at a time. This happened a few times a year.
I thought that a good marriage meant a marriage that was intact (ie, a good marriage meant the absence of divorce). I thought marriage was not about partnership, but rather about being adversaries. I thought marriage was NOT a place to share emotional intimacy. I learned in a marriage some one was always right (usually the wife) and someone was always wrong (usually the husband). I learned that the husband was not entitled to have emotional needs, and it didn't matter if they were fulfilled or not.
Clearly, there was a point where I wasn't such a good marriage partner.
5. How did your parent's attitudes about divorce effect you?
n/a
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Just some questions about your marriage attitudes as related to your parents.
For those who would be so kind as to respond, thank you!
1. Were your parents married (to each other)?
Yes - Just
2. How long were your parents married?
approx 2 year
3. If your parent's marriage ended in divorce, please state why. abuse
4. How did your parent's attitudes about marriage effect you? My mother remarried when I was 8 and my stepfather adopted my sister and me. My half brother came to the wedding. I thought marriage was forever with a good man. I also believed I needed to marry for money as mum often said money first, love second.
5. How did your parent's attitudes about divorce effect you? My parents are currently in the process of divorce. When mum told me about 9 years ago she was going to D dad and I wasnt to tell him I told her to get stuffed. She could tell me all my growing up years that he was my dad because he has wiped my nose and kicked my butt while I was growing up and then expect me to not tell him that.
At first I was sad about the D, now after watching the madness and waffling from her and the way she has strug dad along, I am looking forward to him getting free of her.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday 
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Just some questions about your marriage attitudes as related to your parents.
For those who would be so kind as to respond, thank you!
1. Were your parents married (to each other)?
Yes. Met during WWII, dated when my father came back finish his last year of college, then engaged after he found a job.
She was married before, at age 19 a few days before Pearl Harbor. Never saw her husband again. Plane shot down at Midway. She didn't go out socially for over a year.
2. How long were your parents married?
55 years.
3. If your parent's marriage ended in divorce, please state why.
4. How did your parent's attitudes about marriage effect you?
* Commitment to marriage. Divorce was last resort.
Only one aunt and uncle divorced. On my father's side, no one divorced in anyone's memory, back 250 years.
* Put each other first, over family, friends, their parents, etc.
* Teamwork. A Partnership Marriage. My mother had her talents, and my father had his. They tried to help each other succeed at their work or hobbies.
* Their friends were also married, stable, hard working.
5. How did your parent's attitudes about divorce effect you?
* Last resort. Marriage is serious. I waited until I was 26 years old and owned a paid-for home before I considered marriage.
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