Nice one D!ck

Is there anyway you could record her calls in case of future meltdowns? Currently it might just end up being your word vs his.

Nothing came of his threats. I wrote out a detailed letter for my attorney describing the incident and asking if I should get a restraining order. We'll see what happens with that considering my attorney has YET to take any real action against D!ck for his continuing escapades.

I still can't believe such a little thing turned into a full-blown affront. And I can't believe how calm and unemotional I was about the whole thing! I really am detached.

D!ck's parents, however, are very concerned. His poor mom even called him and ended up having a panic attack and trouble breathing. I spent over an hour with his dad on the phone this evening. FIL wants to draft a settlement for me to move this divorce along. He says he's spelled it out so many times in his head -- what I need to live and take care of the kids and recover some financially. He really has my interest at heart.

What concerns his parents the most is how D!ck has stooped so low as to use the kids in his battles. How he quickly turned on DD when she relayed the message that "mom said no." I mean, what in the heck does what I say negate her credit card (that she only uses for gas) and money for college?

I just finished watching the movie "It's Complicated" again. I see the Alec Baldwin character as the Dad living on the outside. Yes, he loves his children, but he's not a part of the family anymore. I see D!ck as being the villian in a slasher movie. He's not only on the outside, but he's terriorizing the family, threatening each and every one of them, trying to make their lives a living hell.

I don't get it. I just don't get how a perfectly normal, sane, calm man who was very stable and balanced for so many years just turns into a monster. Was it me? I say that half joking, but really... was it me? Did I give him balance and stability? And without me, he's living a caotic existance?

It's more likely God. D!ck took God out of his life. He ignores the right path for the sinful path. If it was white before, it's black now. If it was normal before, it's bizarre now. If it was boring before, it's drama now.

D!ck said to me that Bimbo is the exact opposite of me. I guess his life now is the exact opposite of mine. That explains the clashes. Our two opposite worlds cannot peacefully co-exist. How we will ever agree to a settlement is beyond me. I will probably be in the same spot writing the same post a year from now.

You need to MAKE your attorney do something. You're paying him not to be a wuss! You have children who will need money to live, and for college.

To paraphrase Walter...

Get up, jump on your menstrual cycle and RUN HIS A## over!

(The above anger was directed at your A, not you, Holy.)

HH,

This thing is so spiraling out of control. You are so lucky to have MIL and FIL on your side. Since MIL had a meltdown, I can only assume that the call didn't go all that well?

Like every wayward, D!ck probably thought that everyone was going to be so happy for him and his new soul mate. Boy, does this have to be a slap in the head for him to find out that there is no one who approves. Welcome to reality D!ck.

You really have to wonder what is keeping that thing together at this point. The glamour is certainly gone by now. They are still fighting together against a common cause, so that has to be the glue.

HH, your FIL is a gem. I think he is right-on in that you need to get this thing settled and let the two pigs rut themselves into oblivion. Get yourself out of the middle of their mess and get your sanity back. I'm afraid if you don't, this thing is only going to go further down hill and someone will be harmed. I don't want that to be you or your precious children who are so innocent in all of this.

Thanks for the support, MBers.

I emailed an account of the incident to my attorney today. Naturally, I heard nothing. I really do need to light a fire under this guy or start looking for his replacement.

I mentioned to DD today that this wasn't her fault, that dad is just crazy, and that the people he's living with and hanging around with must be rubbing off on him. She said she will not contact him and has doubts that he will ever apologize to her.

My guess -- Father's Day is just around the corner. He MIGHT use that day to invite her to breakfast and "explain" why he was justified in calling her mother a "f-ing c" because I seriously doubt he'll admit that what he did was wrong.

Wrong is too negative of a word. It is too much a "victim thinking" mentality to man-up and apologize. The Universe wouldn't approve.

DD was D!ck's last link to his old life since DD was the last holdup to be still talking with him. I'm sure there's a saying for what he did -- like he's lost at sea and just popped a hole in his life raft.

He hurt the last person who still cares.

And now he will probably light up and say that you turned DD against him.

I say phone him first chance you get and tell him either he starts doing his job or you ARE going to get a replacement.

You can bet on that.

Yes we are poisoning our children because these waywards are so misunderstood and not because they are out of their minds.

According to my WH...everytime my DS asks WH if he is ever coming home and cries when he says I dont know....Its me poisoning my son....I get a text from WH saying to go get some help because my "sickness" is rubbing off on DS...My "sickness" that is being controlled by medication and therapy....

I mean it has nothing to do with the fact that WH is not here at home anymore and DS misses him.....DERRRRRRR!!!!!

If it were me I would get those kids a new cell phone number and have them give it out to only two people...not the dad. Also I would get a new unlisted home phone number. Or not answer the phone if he calls using caller ID, there are blocking services too for certain numbers. If he has to e-mail or something then things will cool down a little perhaps. Save those kids the drama. Switch thier phone numbers.

Stillhere, my XH did the same. DD16 tried to talk to him so many times after he said he was moving and it was almost like he covered his ears and said lalalalala but with the words everything will be fine. He would not listen to her or hear her sorrow because he was so filled up with PP lies and the high of the A.

Now DD16 wants nothing to do with him and he blames me. No accountability. Who are these men?

Wow -- the kids saw D!ck today. Matter of fact, the WHOLE TOWN saw his MUG in the newspaper with a sentence about his new job.

Yes... TECHNICALLY, the kids saw their dad on Father's Day.

Awwww.... ain't that special!

And yesterday was DS's birthday. D!ck pulled out all the stops, as usual. TEXT DS a "Happy Bday."

Again.... what a class act. I vote him FATHER OF THE YEAR.

Text?

Uggh. What an idiot.

How special.

Tell DS happy birthday from kiwiland.

Your son should have text back...

Who is this? I do not recognize this #.

It is a sad to see what A does to the family.

I was waiting until after my court date to post. Hoped that SOMETHING would happen. But the wheels of justice don't seem to be in any rush and it was another wasted day.

We never even got to see the judge. Our attorneys talked "in chambers" and nothing was accomplished. I say "nothing" because D!ck got away with the continued stonewalling. His attorney had a stack of credit card statements but -- once again -- didn't have a copy for us.

And D!ck provided no proof of his salary at the new job, no tax return... NOTHING. Even FIL was frustrated. I let loose on my attorney asking if he even wanted to keep representing me. He said "yes" and that he feels badly for the predicament I'm in. He said again that in his 30 plus years of family law, he's never seen someone so arrogant, difficult and dishonest as D!ck. (Then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT I wanted to scream!!) He assured me that he'd get the documents and we're in good shape with the direction we're going. He says that D!ck is in for a rude awakening. Maybe D!ck will FINALLY face consequences.

But... I feel at peace. Like this is where I'm suppose to be. Let D!ck do the heavy lifting. Let him EARN this divorce. Why should I create more work (and more billing hours) for my attorney.

And D!ck was agitated seeing his dad at court. His dad tried talking with him a bit. D!ck said he didn't need to be there and FIL agreed saying "none of us need to be here. You caused this mess." And D!ck went on to whine saying he had no money for attorney fees, how he's declaring bankruptcy, how everyone needs to "move along"... blah, blah, blah. FIL heard enough and left saying "You've sold your soul to the devil."

Me thinks D!ck isn't a happy camper. He should be THRILLED to be in court again since, according to Bimbo, sex gets better each time they go to court.

Well, I'm holding my own. Actually keeping very busy with kids and house and work. I've been helping DS collect items for the house he's leasing for college. DD and I are planning how I'm getting her to college several states away. Considering I've NEVER driven more than 150 miles from home, I need to figure this out. I'm pretty sure that flying will be the way to go. Ship what we can't take with us on the plane.

Also keeping busy with home projects. Painting and gardening this weekend. I read part of the Elizabeth Edwards interview. How John was no longer the man she fell in love with. How she has fond memories of the man he used to be. I soooooo get this. I miss my DH -- warts and I. He was far from perfect even before the a, but he was my husband and partner. He took a load off my shoulders. I miss that. Yep, I'm quite capable of taking care of myself and the kids and the house and the finances and everything else. I just miss not having my partner around to help. I've thankful for my family and friends and their help... it's just not the same. Not the same.

And it will never be the same. I'm going down a different path. I've accepted that. I'm not bitter, I'm just disapointed.

I firmly believe that I'll be OK when it's all said and done. D!ck seems to be in panic mode. I wonder how the new job is? Probably not a lot of fun when you go from being the boss and doing whatever you wanted for years to now having to be accountable. I'm sure people are watching how he does. I mean -- when you hire someone who's been fired -- and he has both a wife and is engaged to OW -- and he's a gamble --

Ha, ha... he wanted to start a new life and he has. He has two wives, so to speak, and six kids instead of 3, and two homes, and a new job that likely sucks, and bills up the wazooo, and I'M NOT BACKING DOWN.....

He just can't say Uncle. He can't give in and give me a fair settlement. Afraid to turn over a losing hand. Would rather disrupt the game than admit to defeat.

He really is the worse of the waywards.

WOW! All I have to say is....

You are better off without this man in your life!

After everything is said and done, you will have a happier life, and your XWH will realize that the other side of the fence isn't that happy at all!

Wouldn't it be great for the day, when you see you husband and he looks ill? Because unhappy people look ill ALL the time!

I know you miss him, but it sounds like you are a very strong person, and a lot of people can learn from you

Have a happy 4th of July!

Get a portable tiny copy machine and always bring it to court, keep it with you in your purse. Also, if you have no copy machine, use your camera phone to take a picture of each credit card statement.

You need copies.

[quote=Bubbles4U]Get a portable tiny copy machine and always bring it to court, keep it with you in your purse. Also, if you have no copy machine, use your camera phone to take a picture of each credit card statement.



That is a great idea! Wouldn't that really call his bluff? He is going to go to any extreme to keep those out of the judge's hands. I don't imagine the 25 trips to Vegas will look so good when he can't pay his child support.