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Marriage Builders Forums General Discussion Marriage Builders 101 should past lovers be Facebook and twitter friends

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Re: should past lovers be Facebook and twitter friends takaris #2579620 12/31/11 10:19 AM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Originally Posted by takaris Facebook itself provided an easy "out" and "release" for someone who had issues/problems to begin with. There was soemthing wrong in the relationship that facilitated this action and facebook was only any easy escape into that world. That's like saying that there is nothing wrong with playing chicken, but that the problem lies with the chicken player. If he were just a better chicken player he shouldn't get hit! The problem with facebook is that it reunites folks with old lovers. And when that happens old feelings are IGNITED. That is when the risk comes in. This is why Dr Harley is adamant that contact with old lovers and opposite sex friendships end once you are married. We have affairs that show up over on Surviving an Affair every week that started on facebook. And you are right that there is usually something wrong in the relationship when one seeks an affair on facebook. It is usually that people have poor boundaries and maintain opposite sex friendships. All the more reason to AVOID facebook. "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101

Re: should past lovers be Facebook and twitter friends HoldHerHand #2579623 12/31/11 10:27 AM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Originally Posted by HoldHerHand [ I have exciting friends like my 73-year-old Aunt. It's fantastic. He's such a playah! "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101

Re: should past lovers be Facebook and twitter friends MelodyLane #2579658 12/31/11 11:34 AM
Joined: Oct 2010 Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1 Washington, USA H HoldHerHand Member
HoldHerHand Member H Joined: Oct 2010 Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1 Washington, USA	Originally Posted by MelodyLane Originally Posted by HoldHerHand [ I have exciting friends like my 73-year-old Aunt. It's fantastic. He's such a playah! I have younger friends! Like my 62-year-old aunt who posts pics of my beautiful 100-year-old grandmother. My Facebook life is SCANDALOUS! "An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr "Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer "Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR

Re: should past lovers be Facebook and twitter friends HoldHerHand #2581299 01/04/12 08:05 PM
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 1 O Oasis7960 Junior Member
Oasis7960 Junior Member O Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 1	Good and informative conversation folks. Thank you. As someone said earlier, FB is not the problem in and of itself. The temptation to stray is strong, especially if a couple is having either marital problems or if the marriage is just in a temporary rut. I wholeheartedly agree there should be no private messsaging going on between people of the opposite sex if they are married or in a relationship. How would you feel if everyday while you're at work a male friend came to visit your wife(or female came to visit your husband)? That's a recipe for disaster and incredibly innapropriate. Private messaging is no different. Anything to be said should be said in a public forum.

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