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VAR = voice activated recorder
Basically a 'tape recorder' that turns on when someone speaks.
Very low tech.
No computer required.
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Daisy - It must be stressed that if/when you discover something awful about this affair .... you DO NOT confront your WH.
You must exercise self control.
OK, Daisy?
Bring the discovered info back here. Post it, and allow us to guide you toward your next step so that you are effective.
Okey-dokey? Yes, I got it.  I can imagine it's probably easier said than done. But I will do my absolute best! Figured I'd try implementing some of plan A, so I called him about 15 minutes ago to ask what he'd like me to make for dinner and he asked if I was checking up on him. I said no, just trying to be a part of your life. (was that wrong!?!)
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Most VARs use AA or AAA batteries. And since they are VAR...they will only activate if there is a noise. So, you will need to check it every day or so...to make sure the batteries are good, and to download any of the info on there, go through it and then reset it for another round. Have a VAR ready to switch out when you take the VAR out of his car. Put the 'new' one, with fresh batteries, immediately in the old one's place. That way you've always got a fresh VAR installed in the car, which historically is where adulterers really start yakking on their phone (because they think they're alone where no one can hear them. ) Great idea! Hopefully they're not too pricey. Stupid question, what do you do when they're full? Is there a way to save the recording somewhere? thanks
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Most VARs use AA or AAA batteries. And since they are VAR...they will only activate if there is a noise. So, you will need to check it every day or so...to make sure the batteries are good, and to download any of the info on there, go through it and then reset it for another round. Have a VAR ready to switch out when you take the VAR out of his car. Put the 'new' one, with fresh batteries, immediately in the old one's place. That way you've always got a fresh VAR installed in the car, which historically is where adulterers really start yakking on their phone (because they think they're alone where no one can hear them. ) Great idea! Hopefully they're not too pricey. Stupid question, what do you do when they're full? Is there a way to save the recording somewhere? thanks Yes, many allow you to save to a computer. They will come with a cord where you can upload it. Since yo uare worried about your home computer, see if you can upload and stor on another computer (friend, relative).
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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I said no, just trying to be a part of your life.
(was that wrong!?!) Right. Try to be as light hearted as you can. Make some dumb jokes. "I was just wondering what dinner you'd like me to burn." (jokingly) Play music. Dance around the house. Don't over-do the romance stuff. But, be fun. Daisy ..... FYI .... he asked if I was checking up on him. An innocent man never says this crap.
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Stupid question, what do you do when they're full? There's a lot of room on those puppies. If you're switching them out every day or two, you won't have to worry about that.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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[/quote] Daisy ..... FYI .... he asked if I was checking up on him. An innocent man never says this crap. [/quote] I understand where you're coming from and appreciate it. I'm not saying he IS innocent, but he knows that I don't trust him because of the prior incident. So I would expect him to make a comment like that.
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Daisy.
Go to Best Buy and ask for the voice activated recorders. They can instruct you on the use. Pay for it with a prepaid visa card from the grocery store. It is easy to cover the purchase of a prepaid card with a grocery store trip given the cost of groceries.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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If I called my husband to ask what he wanted for dinner, he's answer that question. He'd be happy.
When I take his cell phone and play with it, he never gets nervous and squirrley.
An innocent husband WANTS his wife to check on him so he can allay her fears and reassure her. An innocent husband has concerns for his wife's peace of mind.
When WH goes on the attack, we call that 'gas-lighting' you. making you question yourself. Which throws you off kilter and off target.
It's not uncommon for the WH to accuse the BW of all sorts on nonsense.
Try to ignore it for now.
Just get the intel and report back.
You did NOTHING wrong by asking him about his food preferences.
His response is wrong because is IS guilty.
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We just don't know what he is guilty of.
Find out.
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Go to Best Buy and ask for the voice activated recorders. They can instruct you on the use. Pay for it with a prepaid visa card from the grocery store. It is easy to cover the purchase of a prepaid card with a grocery store trip given the cost of groceries. Or just get cash back on your debit card.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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MelodyLane,
I have tried getting his phone in the middle of the night but he is such a LIGHT sleeper. I know it sounds silly but it's true, he hears EVERYTHING! I just don't want to be caught red handed.
How does that eblaster work? What is it exactly, how do you install it? Will it give me his email address and password? Like I said I really doubt he's calling and texting.
I do believe (95%) that it's a gmail account because I think you need one to set up an android phone. IF he has an android phone, it is most likely gmail he is using on his phone, although he could add other email accounts on there as well. Gmail can also be accessed from any computer, all you need is his username and password. You don't need his phone to view his email at all if you have that. I work in IT and am a very experienced Android user! I would agree with other posters who said you could tell him you are interesting in getting a phone like that, could you look at it, does it do email, through who, and how do you set that up? See if you can get any information that way....
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I understand where you're coming from and appreciate it. I'm not saying he IS innocent, but he knows that I don't trust him because of the prior incident. So I would expect him to make a comment like that. He says it because he knows he CAN'T be trusted. An innocent man would go out of his way to PROVE his innnocence. A guilty man resents being checked up on.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Daisy.
Go to Best Buy and ask for the voice activated recorders. They can instruct you on the use. Pay for it with a prepaid visa card from the grocery store. It is easy to cover the purchase of a prepaid card with a grocery store trip given the cost of groceries. Daisy, get a small one that can be concealed in the dash or under the drivers seat. Go read edsway's thread on the Operation Investigate forum on how to velcro the VAR under the seat.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hello everyone, wasnt sure if I should keep posting in the same thread, but have another question. If I happen to get a chance to look at his phone, what do I do with any info I may find? I obviously cant save it or print it. & what exactly should I be looking for, as I mentioned before, I dont think hes texting or calling so itd have to be through email. Wont I need a password? I know I should get that blaster u mentioned but im looking for ANY opportunity to get a peek right now. Thanks!
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Text or email it to yourself.
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Hello everyone, wasnt sure if I should keep posting in the same thread, but have another question. If I happen to get a chance to look at his phone, what do I do with any info I may find? I obviously cant save it or print it. & what exactly should I be looking for, as I mentioned before, I dont think hes texting or calling so itd have to be through email. Wont I need a password? I know I should get that blaster u mentioned but im looking for ANY opportunity to get a peek right now. Thanks! If you have time, get to his email...and dont read stuff. Just start emailing it to you (forward). Anything that even looks suspicious! You can read it all later. Just get it forwarded to you. Then, go into the SENT box of his email, and delete all of the emails you just sent to yourself. That way, he wont see that you forwarded the emails to you. Lastly, check his trash bin. If you delete those, they may end up in the trash bin. So, delte them out of the trash bin. So, in short: 1. Forward all emails to your email address 2. Go to the SENT box and delte all of the emails you forwarded 3. Go to the TRASH ttab and delete those messages from there. Then go to your own email on your computer and/or phone and review what you sent.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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ThaNks again. uNfortunately the golden ticket (his phone) has a password on it. I tried a few things I thought It would be with no luck.
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But then make sure you delete the sent message and delete the sent text. Also go to trash folder & delete in trash folder
MM beat me to it!
& did a better job of explaining
Last edited by workit; 01/18/12 11:04 PM.
Me: BW (49)
He: FWW (39)
DS13
DD10
D-Day 4-5-11
NC 4-5-11
D-Day #2 July 13
NC July 14
FWW Rehab: July 14-Aug 6 2011
Relapse sept 2012
Plan B: Nov 6, 2012
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ok, sorry it's been a while. Thanks for all your advice! Not sure if I should post here or start a new thread. I wasn't able to get into the cell phone but I did do the var and found EVIDENCE! I am freaking out and don't know what to do...
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