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One other thing to add:
Do not under any circumstances trickle expose. Get it all done at once!
Once you start exposure, do not accept phone calls from your WW. Don't look at her texts. She will most like say anything she can to get you to stop. ALL waywards do this!! x 2
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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You there Robl?
Do you know where OM lives and works?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Lives not works... but i know he works a 9-5.
Should I be visiting the wife personally? Don't have the phone number... or mail the letter?
Me: BH 38, WW:35
Married: 9 years
Together: 11 years
2 Kids: 8,6
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Lives not works... but i know he works a 9-5.
Should I be visiting the wife personally? Don't have the phone number... or mail the letter? Visit her personally to expose, or at the minimum talk to her in person on the phone.
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Lives not works... but i know he works a 9-5.
Should I be visiting the wife personally? Don't have the phone number... or mail the letter? I would search for a phone number or visit her personally. I am not a big fan of mail unless it is a last resort. If you go to her house, take a friend with you. Does OMW work? Have you googled her name?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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RobL,
Do not use any communication routes which can be intercepted by OM, he will gain the first move and time on you. Yes visit the OMW or phone.
Do not let on to anyone what you are about to do, if it leaks out to OM or WW they will paint you as a crazy unhinged spouse, they will claim that you cheated on your wife, that you do drugs, whatever they can dream up. Go quite and gather your evidence, perhaps bundle it into a pdf file organized as a timeline.
When you expose hit as many targets as you can, so you overwhelm the OMs capacity to fire back. Expect that some of those exposed to will write back that it is none of their business, OM is a good man etc, that's fine the important part is that OM knows that they know, this will introduce doubt and fear into OMs mind.
What does OM do for a living?
God Bless
Gamma
Last edited by Gamma; 01/07/15 05:41 PM.
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She just told me she wants a divorce 
Me: BH 38, WW:35
Married: 9 years
Together: 11 years
2 Kids: 8,6
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She just told me she wants a divorce They all say that, but put forth no action steps to make it happen. Did you read that thread from WifeDivorcing that I posted to you earlier today yet? How did you react to her comment? LTL
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LTL - The link didn't work Probably not perfectly but i said that i didn't think now was the right time to make a life long decision about anything right now.
Me: BH 38, WW:35
Married: 9 years
Together: 11 years
2 Kids: 8,6
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She just told me she wants a divorce Have you been reading our posts and preparing an exposure? She won't want a divorce if you kill the affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am preparing although she claims the affffair is over. I'm hoping her parents become my biggest advocate.
I'm questioning my desire to reconcile. Why am I trying so hard when it hurts so much?
Me: BH 38, WW:35
Married: 9 years
Together: 11 years
2 Kids: 8,6
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I am preparing although she claims the affffair is over. I'm hoping her parents become my biggest advocate.
I'm questioning my desire to reconcile. Why am I trying so hard when it hurts so much? Thats ok if she says the affair is over. Please stick the plan and expose the affair. Even if you eventually decide not to reconcile, you still need to get this exposed. Exposure is the most likely thing to kill the affair and keep it killed, so it gives you more options in the future. I would not get distracted here. Just stick to the plan and get er exposed!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Follow the plan. Bust up the affair. You don't want to have regrets later.
Remarried 7/16
Thanks MB!
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I am preparing although she claims the affffair is over. I'm hoping her parents become my biggest advocate.
I'm questioning my desire to reconcile. Why am I trying so hard when it hurts so much? Thats ok if she says the affair is over. Please stick the plan and expose the affair. Even if you eventually decide not to reconcile, you still need to get this exposed. Exposure is the most likely thing to kill the affair and keep it killed, so it gives you more options in the future. I would not get distracted here. Just stick to the plan and get er exposed! x 2 Unless you want this POS around your children, you need to do all you can to kill the affair. That was my single motivation when I exposed. No way in hell would I want my children exposed to their dad's whore.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I am preparing although she claims the affffair is over. I'm hoping her parents become my biggest advocate.
I'm questioning my desire to reconcile. Why am I trying so hard when it hurts so much? When are you exposing?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I am preparing although she claims the affffair is over. I'm hoping her parents become my biggest advocate.
I'm questioning my desire to reconcile. Why am I trying so hard when it hurts so much? If the A was over, she wouldn't want a divorce. Sorry but you are being lied to Don't forget to prepare your exposure without tipping her off to it in ANY way. This includes threatening her with exposure. Just do it. As far as reconciling, you have every right to not want to reconcile and you can get great personal support through this forum if you decide not to. However, act now in a way that gives you options, and not in one that limits your options. You told your WW that now was not the time for major decisions. Take your own advice. Maybe you will not want to reconcile when the dust settles, and maybe you will. Do what needs to be done now to give yourself a chance at either option. If you do not expose and kill this affair, reconciling will not be an option. Expose and kill this A. It is the single greatest and most important step for you to take at this moment.
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Exposure is the answer no matter what road you look down here. First, it will speed up the end of this A. Obviously just the thought of it makes her and her OM scramble, so what do you think REAL exposure will do. Also, it will garner you support. A lot of posters, myself included, know how you are feeling right now. It sucks It sucks more alone, acting to your family and friends like there is nothing wrong when you feel like your world is collapsing. This is a traumatic experience, and you need support to get through it. If and when the A does crumble, it will hold her accountable. Affairs thrive on secrecy. If there is no secrecy, if everybody knows, it is far more difficult to continue contact or start up the A again. Finally, even if you decide not to reconcile, do you not want people to know WHY? Or if she decides to actually file for divorce, do you not want your family and friends to know that it is because she is having an A? Do you want her to paint a picture that makes her the saint and you the villain? Do you want her to reintroduce OM as her 'new friend' and nobody know the difference? Do you want to cover for her, hiding her A for the rest of your life, while your family falls apart? Please expose.
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I am preparing although she claims the affffair is over. Why in the world would you believe her? Waywards LIE - that's what they do!
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I'm questioning my desire to reconcile. Being around a wayturd is no fun. Follow all the steps here to kill the affair. Give her a chance to de-fog and THEN decide if you want to reconcile.
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