Actually, Harley's predominant thought on recreational time is that you spend it together. Joined at the hip? Not exactly. But the idea is that we fall in love with those whom we associate with our most enjoyable moments.
So, if your best time is on the computer and his is at sports events, then by comparison the time you spend together can and probably will seem boring.
There are sooooo many recreational activities to choose from. The key to building a compatible relationship... and a marriage where you find each other irresistable... is to choose activites that you can both enjoy together.
Does that rule out the other things? Not entirely, but it does mean that they should be secondary to the things you do together, and not done as frequently.
Yeah, there are things you'll have to give up. Those are the choices we make every day. Every good thing that we want requires us to give up something else. Even something as mundane as a trip to the grocery store can bring that message home. Some things you get to have and others you need to bypass... no one's budget (excepting perhaps Mr. Gates, QEII and a few others) allows unlimited purchases.
The same is true of marriage. The Love Bank is called that for a reason. It truly is a mathematical phenomenon. So spending your most enjoyable time away from your spouse is the same as squandering your grocery budget on non essentials.
If you are at this site, then I assume that you place your marriage at a high priority in your life. I can assure you that no recreation is as important as doing what it takes to make your marriage the best it can be. And to do that you will need to let some things go. The rewards though are well worth it!
If you have other questions about POJA you can find me at the JFO board. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
C
