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Bogey #3010102 10/07/19 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Bogey
There is a point of being blunt.....and there is a point of just being plain mean and hateful. And you are riding a very thin line.

I came here for a little support because I am at the end of my rope and you have not given me anything. So why are you even commenting?? Just to be hateful?


Being very blunt and straight forward under these circumstances (a betrayed spouse trying to attempt recovery with a serial cheater) is the nicest thing anyone could do for you.

You are shooting at the helicopters. MelodyLane is someone you NEED to help you navigate this.

A serial cheater who is NOT SERIOUS will hurt you again - it is just a matter of time. You need to have your eyes wide open and read everything you can on this site about serial cheats.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Bogey #3010105 10/07/19 12:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Bogey
I believe that he was in a mid life crisis because of his heart attack. He felt like something tragic was going to happen... like he was going to die and that feeling tipped him over the edge. He had a 98% block in the widow maker's artery. He had a heart attack a year into cheating.


I am very alarmed to read this - this is NOT why your WH is a serial cheater. If that was the case, don't you think there would be some type of correlation between people who have suffered life-threatening illnesses, only to recover and then become serial cheaters? I have never heard Dr Harley say such a thing and he has been working with/studying marriages recovering from affairs for decades.

The reason that your WH is a serial cheater is because he has become addicted to getting some of his ENs met outside of marriage and some met in the marriage. Why? Because it feels good. It's as simple as that.

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Yes...he is considered a serial cheater. I have talked to his ex wife and he never cheated. No unaccountable times with him and she was in charge of the finances. No missing money.

Serial cheaters are not serial cheaters right at the start of the marriage. That is not a test for whether someone is a "real" serial cheater or not. My exWH was faithful for at least 10+ years of our M. Once he got a taste for having something on the side, he was not able to give it up. If he got caught in an affair or doing something inappropriate, it was easy to get him to give it up. It is irrelevant that he was faithful in the beginning of your M.

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As I have said in earlier posts....he has no social media of any kind. I have access to all of his finances. I have all passwords. I go thru his Google often. His Google location is always on. I have spyware on his phone...I see every text, location, photo and internet usage. He asks before leaving the house other than to work. We have cameras inside and outside of the house.

This is a good start. I just want to point out that my ex-WH promised me everything under the sun. We counseled with the Harleys and we had a very extensive EP list and he still cheated again. Dr Harley has often said this type of cheater should probably work with their BS and shouldn't even use the internet without the BS right there with them.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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